There is probably just as much folly in trying to review The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies as there was in making three movies out of a very slim volume of a book. If you’re a fan of the films, you’ll see it no matter what some critic says, and if you’re not a fan there’s nothing I or anyone else could say to convince you to see it (and who would go see the third part of a trilogy without seeing the first two parts anyway?).

The plot, in a nutshell, picks up exactly where we left off in The Desolation of Smaug. The fearsome dragon is launching an all-out attack on Laketown, Gandalf is still imprisoned somewhere, and Thorin and his compatriots are hoping to reclaim their land, their home, their birthright once Smaug is dispatched. Once that happens, everyone in Middle-earth shows up to claim the land (and the treasure) for themselves. There’s bloodshed, there is death, there are tears, but in the end can this trilogy stand up next to The Lord of the Rings? In a word, no. Think Star Wars Episodes I-III compared to Episodes IV-VI (but maybe not quite that bad).

The Good

• The best thing in this movie is Richard Armitage’s performance as Thorin. He grieves for the lives lost in Laketown, then succumbs to the madness of Smaug’s treasure, turning on his friends whom he believes may have stolen the Arkenstone, and descends further into madness before coming to his senses and joining the battle to save his homeland. Armitage gets to run the gamut of emotions here and it is some fine work indeed.
• Martin Freeman is also very good in what little he has to do. His big moment really comes as he tries to talk Thorin down from his madness, but even though the movie is called The Hobbit, it’s really not about our friend Bilbo by this point.
• The destruction of Laketown is a harrowing, dramatic, thrilling moment of filmmaking that will have you on the edge of your seat.
• During Gandalf’s rescue, the moment Galadriel shows that she can kick everyone’s asses if she really wanted to, the psychedelic showdown between she and Sauron, and Saruman’s own kick-ass moves.
• The beautifully edited final descent into madness of Thorin before snapping back to reality, and his battle on the ice with Azog.
• Billy Connolly’s late arrival as Thorin’s cousin.
• The closing theme sung by original Hobbit Billy Boyd.

The Bad

• Almost every plot thread left dangling at the end of part two is pretty much wrapped up within the first half hour or so of part three. Smaug is dispatched rather quickly, Gandalf is rescued and I’m still not even quite sure why he was caged in the first place (or by who), elves show up and a name is dropped just to connect these films to the LOTR trilogy. There is very little plot leading up to the titular event outside of Thorin’s madness.
• After Smaug is killed (is that a spoiler?), it seems that everyone in Middle-earth just shows up at Thorin’s doorstep to collect what they believe is theirs. How did the elves, the orcs and all the others know so quickly that the Lonely Mountain was now vacant? I remember that sweeping scene of fire signals being lit across the mountaintops in one of the original LOTR movies, but there’s nothing like that here. It’s like everyone got a text that read “Ding-dong the dragon’s dead.”
• Five armies is really too many to keep track of during a battle, which takes up way too much of the movie’s running time. It’s easy enough to keep track of the characters we know, but who they’re fighting most of the time is just a jumble.
• Again, too little plot, too much fighting. And some of the CGI looks almost unfinished.

In my humble opinion, The Desolation of Smaug was the best entry in the trilogy because it moved the story along after the deadly dull meandering of the first movie. This one drops the ball a bit because we know many of the characters do survive into the next/original trilogy. There are, however, three surprising deaths (at least to those who haven’t read the book, and may not even be in the book) that do hit hard emotionally. Outside of Armitage’s terrific performance, it’s these moments that give the movie the heart and emotion it desperately needs.

And as you deal with those tragedies, the film closes with a hauntingly beautiful but sad song that really feels like we’re saying goodbye to a group of characters and a world we’ve come to know over these last fourteen years. It’s those moments that I wish the rest of the movie would have had (and perhaps it will in the inevitable extended edition) because it was those moments that had me nearly sobbing as the credits rolled past. Saying goodbye to Middle-earth was more emotional than most of the movie, and I almost feel that the movie didn’t earn that reaction (but I’m a softy).

The Battle of the Five Armies isn’t the worst of the trilogy and it isn’t the best. It certainly demonstrates the folly of stretching a single book into three films, but I suppose we should applaud Peter Jackson’s tenacity in getting these films made. Now here’s hoping he focuses on something a little smaller in scale to recharge his creative batteries.

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Previously on The 100: What. The. Fudge. Critics can talk about Scandal, they can talk about The Walking Dead, or they can talk about a host of other much-hyped shows that provides shocking twists and turns, but for my money, The 100 has them all beat.

I was describing the show to a friend this summer, trying to explain how the show kept ramping up the action. I told her there was a big shocking moment at the end of the pilot that left audiences jaw-dropped. Then Clarke topped it at the end of episode two. Then Charlotte topped it once and then once again in the following episodes. There’s nothing like The 100 on television anywhere, and I’m damn glad the show is back.

I talked to the cast and crew at San Diego Comic-Con this summer, and I was particularly struck by something showrunner Jason Rothenberg said. The full quote is in the video below, but he basically didn’t think that the show deserved its reputation for killing off characters; other than Wells, none of the characters killed was portrayed as a regular character. Rothenberg implied that since the show received that reputation, they were going to attempt to live up to it in season two. Boys and girls, if that statement does not scare you, you are not paying close enough attention. There’s an influx of characters on the ground with the return of the Ark, the Mountain Men (People?) and more Grounders. More characters to track makes it considerably easier to chop off a couple here or there as the story allows.

The end of last season left most of our characters a scattered, battered, bloody mess, separated and in a heap of trouble. Clarke, Monty, Jasper and 45 others have found themselves in relative safety in the welcoming arms of the denizens of Mount Weather. It seems that some aspect of the American culture and government were saved from the holocaust, but are now trapped by the radiation their bodies were protected from. Mount Weather’s comforts – including power from Philpott Dam (which in reality is a three day walk from Mount Weather) – are too good to be true. Other than Clarke’s feeling of unease, it is impossible to pinpoint exactly what is off about Mount Weather, but something obviously isn’t right.

The finale and premiere have introduced a variety of game-changers, none of which are going to be as impactful as the landing of the Ark. Kane saving the boys was a hint of the safety that the returnees (can the show come up with a cool name for them stat?) represent, but Bellamy’s arrest proves that whatever trials they experienced on the Ark, they will likely never comprehend what the 100 experienced on the ground. The politics of the myriad groups now on the ground are going to play a major role in the story arcs this season, but none will be trickier than the reintegration of these two groups … if it is even possible.

One of the other things Rothenberg mentioned in our conversation was the possibility of learning more about Murphy, and how that might humanize him a little. He obviously was referring to his conversation with Raven in the drop-ship. Rothenberg was clear to say that Murphy wasn’t necessarily going to be redeemed, something I think is impossible. I don’t particularly care that he had a particularly good childhood; very few of the 100 did. Bellamy was hard on everyone early on for the right reasons without realizing it, but Murphy was a sociopath. It’s hard to embrace someone who urinates on someone who just wanted a water break. Raven wasn’t there for the worst of things. She might show a little mercy, but it is doubtful others will.

The return of the Ark, the mysteries of the Mountain Men, the savagery of the Grounders and the resolve of the 100; so much of what we learned last season will soon be disproven. Our heroes are going to face challenge after challenge that continues raise the levels of WTF in ways that the first season couldn’t even begin to prepare us for.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnrZ4Lzi4Qc

• I have seen the first three episodes of the season, so it is admittedly difficult to dance around what I already know. A smarter man would have stopped in between episodes, but I was too damn excited.
• One of the few truly “fun” things that The 100 gets to explore is the relationship between Jasper and Monty, and tonight’s cake/pie interchange is a great example.
• There were several WTF (and for the record, the F stands for “fudge”) moments, but Kane shooting Tristan through the head was the first of several times that got me off the couch.
• Speaking of which … how did a politician on a space station become such a great shot and a tactical leader?
• Some of the casting cross-over is due to where the show is filmed, but the show adds a Cylon tonight in Rekha Sharma (Kate Vernon appeared and was too-quickly killed last season) and will add another Battlestar vet next week.
• We’ll get more into Octavia and Lincoln next week, but I am really interested in where their story is going. Ricky Whittle was one of two recurring actors upgraded to regulars this year (Lindsey Morgan) and was extremely entertaining at SDCC – I’ll be sharing that video in a week or two.

There was a mixed bag of TV releases on DVD and Blu-ray this week with past seasons of shows soon to return — 2 Broke Girls, Two and a Half Men — and shows that recently ended and are either returning next year — Penny Dreadful, Fargo — or have ended their runs — Dracula, The Honorable Woman. Reality TV is featured heavily this week with either season sets or special episodes, including Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Alaska State Troopers, Jackass and Pawn Stars, and shows the entire family can enjoy — Mr. Peabody and Sherman (the classic cartoons to tie in with the movie release), Marvel Knights, Star Wars Rebels and Yo Gabba Gabba. To see all of the highlights from October 14, have a look at our alphabetical shopper’s guide and click on a link to get more information or to make a purchase.

Once you build a successful comic-book based series on a network that loves you, the natural thing to do is to build a spinoff. The Flash, along with “parent” show Arrow, represent much about what’s right on The CW these days. Grant Gustin is a perfect Barry Allen, and producers Geoff Johns, David Berlanti and Andrew Kreisberg have surrounded him with an outstanding cast, including Broadway star Jesse L. Martin (Joe West), TV heavyweight Tom Cavanagh (Harrison Wells), newcomers like Danielle Panabaker (Caitlin Snow) and they have even brought in someone who knows what it’s like to be under the cowl in John Wesley Shipp (Henry Allen).

We sat down with these folks at San Diego Comic-Con this summer, and as the show is set to premiere next week, we share what they told us is coming up in season one:

Grant Gustin

You can tell that Gustin really likes Barry, “He’s just full of hope and optimism. He’s easily relatable.” He’s played so many characters that he wouldn’t want to be in the same room with (we’re looking at you, Sebastian Smythe) that it is refreshing to play someone who people like. He grew up a big (very big, says the tattoo he showed us) Superman fan, so he’s had to learn a lot about the character he now portrays. He’d originally thought about reading the entirety of the run of Flash books, until he saw just how many there were. The New 52 series seems to be similar to what they’re trying to do, and Gustin points to just how knowledgeable and accessible the producers have been in helping build the character grounded in the canon.

Gustin is looking forward to delving into some of the Flash’s extended powers, specifically time travel. They tease it a little in the Pilot, but he wants more. “I think it just presents a lot of fun storylines.”

John Wesley Shipp

Shipp hasn’t yet felt that moment of weirdness seeing someone else in the suit, but the following week was to be his first scene with Grant in the Flash costume. If that moment of “weirdness” was to happen, he expected it then. But his Flash was much different tonally then this Flash. “I can’t imagine Emmet Walsh killing Priscilla Pointer [the actors who played his parents], you know?”

You can tell that Shipp is still disappointed that his show was cancelled after just one season. “Although for a one season show, it has had an incredible life … but how often do you get to come back?” He called it an extraordinary opportunity for healing.

When asked about watching the evolution of superhero properties in popular culture since 1990, Shipp talked about how audiences are more informed, “It’s a smarter sensibility … so we can address the fact that The Flash is about speed and needs to be aerodynamic.” But he kids that the landscape is saturated with comic shows and movies now. He joked with our table that we were too young to remember it used to be all about westerns, and lately it’s CSI and Law & Order.

Shipp is taken by Grant Gustin. “He’s really sincere … he’s very real.”

Shipp says he doesn’t want the character to be “Dawson’s dad thirteen years later.” Obviously prison has changed Henry, but he thinks that it is more important to demonstrate that impact in a nuanced way, “If you don’t [see how prison changed him] that’s my bad, that’s my failure.” One of the most difficult things he experienced in prison was that no one – save Barry – believed him, including specifically Joe West, his neighbor and friend … and the man who raised Barry in Henry’s absence. That’s a reunion I’m looking forward to seeing.

Shipp points to the audience’s thirst for darker shows like Constantine and The Walking Dead as to why there’s been difficulty getting another Flash property off the ground. And while this The Flash tends to be a little darker in some areas – specifically in the Allen family backstory – it is still very much rooted in the tone of the comics. Gustin’s sense of comedy: running into himself, tripping over his feet balanced with his power, demonstrates an everyman quality that is endearing.

Tom Cavanaugh

Cavanaugh was asked about what research he might have done with folks who are wheelchair-bound. He dodged the question specific to The Flash, but talked about the work he did for a little-seen independent film called Sublime. After that, he said, working in a motorized wheelchair was a big improvement. He said that the differences in the two wheelchairs were symbolic of the differences of working on a big-budget production like the show, and a much tighter-budgeted small film.

Cavanaugh was attracted to the different layers the characters portrayed, especially Harrison Wells. You could tell too, that he was a bit taken aback by fast-paced storytelling that occurs in the first nine episodes. If there is anything that The CW should get credit for, it is helping to usher in shows that tell stories at a breakneck speed, and it looks like The Flash is going to be one of them. “Things that you might want to keep in your quiver, they’re firing those things off in a hurry.”

Cavanaugh thought he had a pretty good understanding of The Flash’s stories from the comic books, but after taking the role, he realized he was a neophyte. But producers Kriesberg and Geoff Johns have been incredibly helpful, informative and – almost more importantly – welcoming to someone who wants to learn the canon.

Danielle Panabaker

Panabaker is excited to be a part of a superhero franchise with a preexisting fan base, “It’s so cool! It’s so great because people are excited about The Flash.” Playing Caitlin Snow, who brings a lot to the table, is a big part of that. “It’s great to have a really smart woman on board who also brings that emotional, sensitive perspective.” Snow is fresh from the trauma of losing her fiancé in the accident, so has that drive to keep Barry safe. That trauma has also made her much more serious than she was pre-accident (a side of her we will get to see in flashbacks early in the season).

It doesn’t look like Caitlin is being set up as an immediate love interest for Barry, but there’s a triangle dynamic that might develop with the two of them and Iris. “Barry has always pined for Iris but he can’t have her, so he’s got to figure out what’s next? The sad scientist over here?”

Andrew Kreisberg

Kreisberg was taken by one of the decisions that Smallville made early on, showing how Clark had trouble adjusting to his powers. There is something to be said too about having too much power and becoming god-like. “We’re going to try and keep [his powers] – at least early on – as limited as we can.” But there is definitely a desire (as is apparent in the Pilot) to eventually get to some of the Flash’s more dynamic powers like phasing through matter and (gasp!) time travel. Expect a Smallville-esque difficulty in learning to contain those powers.

There was a conscious decision early on on Arrow to ground the stories in reality as much as possible (thus the mirakuru storyline). The Flash, however, represents an ability to go a step farther and open the world up a bit. Berlanti came up with the idea of the particle accelerator as a way of “building” a group of super-humans all tied to the same event. “The thing that will keep it like Arrow is the way in which people view these impossible, miraculous things,” explains Kreisberg. “We’ll never have a show, especially early on, where people are just like, ‘oh yeah … guy’s flying.’”

Kreisberg doesn’t see a lot of competition between Arrow and The Flash and the other new DC Comics properties coming to television this season. “One of the things that DC did really well this year is for all of the shows they’re doing, they are so completely different. Even Arrow and Flash are two very different shows; one is a grounded, crime, revenge, Shakespearian drama and Flash is more blue skies, superpowers.” Their approach is that they are only in competition with themselves to make quality television. But a “rising tide lifts all ships,” and he’s looking forward to seeing Gotham and iZombie.

As the new fall season approaches, the networks and studios are giving viewers a chance to catch up on the past season before the fall premieres begin to roll out. Heading up the home video releases for September 9 are Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, The Goldbergs, The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, Blue Bloods and Homeland. Classic TV shows coming to DVD this week include The Midnight Special, Dynasty, Little House on the Prairie and a collection of Perry Mason movies. Reality TV fans can enjoy the Honey Boo Boo Halloween special and PBS’ Sex in the Wild, and the kids (and Bronies) can look for a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Halloween “spooktacular.”

To see this week’s home video highlights, have a look at our alphabetical listing and click on a link to make a purchase or to get more information. Any purchase made through our Amazon links helps support our efforts here at CliqueClack, and we thank you for that!

Scintillating is the word when it comes to Lifetime’s Devious Maids. Now in its sophomore season, the entertaining soapy sudser about resilient and resourceful Latina maids working for the rich and snobbish A-list of Beverly Hills is arguably one of the network’s most talked about shows – and for that matter, perhaps one of its most ethnically diverse. Don’t believe me? Just tune in for yourself. Go ahead. Try it!

Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you that I am a firm advocate for more, um, color on the airwaves. What can I say? I’m an equal opportunity television junkie. With that being said, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Devious Maids is one of my favorite programs. Not only is the writing spot on and the mystery intriguing, but the talented cast boasts some of the most ethnically diverse faces on television today. This season introduced a brand new family of characters to this mix – the Millers, a super wealthy yet super dysfunctional African-American household with a crap ton of issues.

Needless to say, I was definitely intrigued.

If you haven’t been watching this season of Devious Maids, then you need to jump on board. The Millers have proven their staying power and have enough interest to keep viewers glued to the screen. For those who watch religiously, you know what I’m talking about. For those who haven’t been tuning in, shame on you. Let me bring you up to speed…

The head of this new household is Kenneth Miller, a wealthy gentleman who has suffered a stroke and is now bound to a wheelchair. His wife is Didi. She’s half his age … and did I mention she’s a former stripper? Priceless! Didi clashes regularly with Lucinda, Kenneth’s daughter whose own daughter was taken away from her when Kenneth forced her to give her up for adoption. Then there’s Reggie, Kenneth’s nephew who also happens to be a lawyer and a certified gold digger. It was recently revealed that Reggie is playing all of them by manipulating poor Kenneth into unwillingly handing over to him the family fortune, kicking Lucinda out of the house and instigating a divorce between Kenneth and Didi. Fortunately, as the last episode revealed, their resident maid – the lovable and religious Rosie Falta, played wonderfully by the capable Dania Ramirez, is on to him.

Sounds interesting, right? While there may be some people of color out there who will claim that this is stereotypical, I would encourage those same individuals to examine the show’s other principle storylines with its Caucasian characters and their own dysfunctional families. For starters, there’s Evelyn Powell (my favorite character) who is cheating on her husband with his bodyguard. Genevieve Delatour (the hilarious Susan Lucci) recently tried to set her maid Zoila up with a male prostitute. Spence Westmore (Grant Show) has a borderline psychotic nephew who just tried to poison him with a cleaning solution. Oh, and Opal Sinclaire (Joanna P. Adler) is a murderer.

See? Drama for everyone!

The Millers are compelling in that the writers have been able to cook up something for each of them to do in every episode this season. That’s a real testament to the creative team behind this program … who also happened to be the minds behind another hit soap that ran on ABC for eight straight seasons. Anyone ever heard of Desperate Housewives?

Back in its heyday, that program was a powerhouse for ABC and introduced its own African-American family during its uneven second season. Despite being headed by four time Emmy Award winner Alfre Woodard, that storyline was universally panned by critics. I think it’s safe to say that the creative team behind Devious Maids, including Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry and former Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria, have learned from that disaster.

So, will the Millers be back next season? I certainly hope so. The cast is certainly talented enough. Tiffany Hines has been a real joy to watch as Didi, and Kimberly Hebert Gregory has successfully managed to make viewers laugh and shed a few tears as Lucinda. Both actresses have good chemistry with one another and with Ramirez who has shared scenes with them both. My only complaint is that the Millers have been somewhat isolated from the other households. I’d love to see them interact with Evelyn or Genevieve. Perchance that can be rectified next season. A fellow can dream, right?

According to Variety, the show drew three million viewers for the finale of its first season last year which was a 50 percent increase from its debut episode. It seems to be the perfect summer show. If Devious Maids get picked up for season three, maybe we’ll be seeing more of the Millers. Who knows? Maybe we’ll get Japanese characters or perhaps a family from India? I’m all for it!

After all, everyone can be a little devious, right?

Keep up with writer Jaylen Christie by following him on Twitter @thesuperflynerd!

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The last of the major networks revealed its new fall schedule, and looking at The CW’s plans it seems that not a whole lot is changing, at least on Wednesday and Thursday. Of all the broadcast networks, The CW had probably the most successful fall launch last year with only The Tomorrow People getting the ax from the new batch of shows introduced in 2013. Of the returning shows, Nikita and The Carrie Diaries did not make the 2014 fall cut, and of the new shows introduced mid-season, Star-Crossed will not be around come fall.

Considering the bloodbath at the other networks, The CW is sitting pretty coming into the fall. So pretty that some of its stalwart shows, Beauty and the Beast and Hart of Dixie, and most anticipated newcomers, iZombie and The Messengers, are being held for mid-season. The network is making a bold move by using this season’s biggest hit, The Originals, to anchor Monday night, with new telenovela-inspired Jane the Virgin taking over the 9:00 PM slot. Tuesday’s 8:00 PM time goes to what is probably the network’s hottest newcomer, The Flash, which got people buzzing when 1990 version Barry Allen, John Wesley Shipp, was cast on the new show. The network’s longest running scripted series, Supernatural, remains at 9:00 for its tenth season. Will this be the last, or will it break Smallville‘s record?

Wednesday and Thursday remain the same as they stand now, with mid-season hit The 100 remaining on Wednesday night. Friday sees the biggest shift in programming as the net goes all reality with a new Whose Line Is It Anyway? at 8:00 PM (a repeat airs at 8:30) and America’s Next Top Model returns for an astonishing 21st cycle with Kelly Cuttrone and J. Alexander returning to the judges’ panel.

The network’s biggest omission from the season has to be the proposed Supernatural spin-off, Supernatural: Bloodlines, that aired its pilot within the regular Supernatural season but ended up being roundly criticized for its cardboard characters and lack of strong female leads (even though strong female leads were promised). CW president Mark Pedowitz is still high on the franchise, however, and hopes to develop another spin-off possibly featuring characters already in the Supernatural universe. (Maybe a prequel show with Bobby??) Whatever it turns out to be, no decision will be made until June or July. So until then, here’s what The CW’s fall schedule looks like:

Monday
8 p.m. — The Originals
9 p.m. — Jane the Virgin

Tuesday
8 p.m. — The Flash
9 p.m. — Supernatural

Wednesday
8 p.m. — Arrow
9 p.m. — The 100

Thursday
8 p.m. — The Vampire Diaries
9 p.m. — Reign

Friday
8 p.m. — Whose Line Is It Anyway?
9 p.m. — America’s Next Top Model

The Fox television network unveiled its 2014 fall schedule and gave us a peek into what 2015 has in store as well. Fox had previously announced its new series acquisitions — Gotham, Red Band Society, Mulaney, Gracepoint, Utopia, Backstrom, Empire, Hieroglyph, Wayward Pines, Bordertown, The Last Man on Earth, Weird Loners — but many of them won’t be seen until 2015.

With the absence of The X Factor, and American Idol not returning until 2015 (with a shorter schedule than usual at about 37 hours instead of 50), that has freed up some time to debut some new shows in the fall. One glaring omission from the schedule is Glee, which has also been benched until 2015 and its 22-episode order may be trimmed to as little as 13. The plan is to run the final season without any breaks and to wrap up the story the best way possible. Another big change for the network is the break-up of Sunday’s Animation Domination block with only Bob’s Burgers, The Simpsons and Family Guy still on the schedule (American Dad moves to TBS, The Cleveland Show is cancelled). One of this season’s bright spots, Brooklyn Nine-Nine will occupy the spot after The Simpson and newcomer Mulaney, starring John Mulaney and Martin Short, moves into the post Family Guy time slot.

The show everyone seems most excited about, Gotham, will make its debut in the Monday slot leading in to last season’s hit Sleepy Hollow. Fox is so high on both shows that Gotham was given an initial 16-episode order and Sleepy Hollow, which was originally planned to get a second 13-episode season, is going to get an additional 2 – 5 episodes. Fox believes Gotham should outshine and out-perform ABC’s Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. simply for the fact that the Batman prequel will include famous fiends like The Riddler, The Penguin and Catwoman … at least the people they were before they become the famous Bat-villains. If nothing else, Gotham is certainly the most talked about new show of the coming season.

Besides Gotham, Fox has a couple of prestigious dramas on the boards with Red Band Society and Gracepoint. Red Band Society is based on a Spanish TV series and takes place in a hospital where a group of teens meet in the pediatrics ward. The comedic drama stars Oscar winner Octavia Spencer and Dave Annable, and is executive produced by Steven Spielberg. Gracepoint is the US adaptation of the hit British crime drama Broadchurch. Former Doctor Who David Tennant reprises his role from the original series.

Looking ahead to 2015, a truncated American Idol will return (no word yet on the judges), and the network hopes that the show will remain on the air for many years to come (rumors were swirling that the original trio of judges would return for the final season, whenever that may be), and Fox is planning three big special events for 2015 starting with a New Year’s Eve event hosted by Pitbull, a special to commemorate Evel Knievel’s attempted jump over Snake River Canyon, and a three-hour live musical presentation of Grease.

Fox will also be filling in the time vacated by The X Factor with a new reality series called Utopia. In this new show, a group of people are sent to an undeveloped location for a year and will be forced to form a society of some sort. With elements of Survivor and Big Brother, viewers will be able to follow the action on the air and online, and those who do not make themselves indispensable to the group are sent home. The twist is that they are replaced by new castaways, giving the show an eerily similar feeling to a former Fox reality program that was supposed to have no end, Forever Eden … which lasted all of seven episodes (18 remain unaired). Will Utopia be a bright spot on the Fox schedule?

As of now, the 2014 schedule is set with many of the big guns set for 2015 including Backstrom, from Bones creator Hart Hanson, Lee Daniels’ Empire, starring Terrence Howard, the ancient Egypt action-adventure series Hieroglyph, from Pacific Rim writer Travis Beacham, limited run series Wayward Pines from M. Night Shyamalan, and comedies Bordertown (working title),  The Last Man on Earth (with Will Forte), and Weird Loners starring Becki Newton. Here’s what to expect in the fall:

Monday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Gotham
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Sleepy Hollow

Tuesday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Utopia
9:00-9:30 p.m. — New Girl
9:30-10:00 p.m. — The Mindy Project

Wednesday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Hell’s Kitchen
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Red Band Society

Thursday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Bones
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Gracepoint

Friday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — MasterChef Junior
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Utopia

Saturday
7:00-10:30 p.m. — Fox Sports Saturday

Sunday
7:00-7:30 p.m. — NFL Game
7:30-8:00 p.m. — Bob’s Burgers
8:00-8:30 p.m. — The Simpsons
8:30-9:00 p.m. — Brooklyn Nine-Nine
9:00-9:30 p.m. — Family Guy
9:30-10:00 p.m. — Mulaney

Belief is dangerous. No matter how you want to look at it, faith can lead to very bad choices, but there is also the reverse: it can also lead to the best choices. Common beliefs have changed and evolved through the course of humanity, but there are a few threads that have continued since the start of storytelling and writing. There is a strong desire to want life and reality to mean something in some “higher than” life way, that life isn’t just random or meaningless. Stories try to create heroes, people that make a difference and change the future for the better, sometimes in small ways, sometimes with great importance. That’s one thread.

Another is death. The acceptance of death and the end of everything you know, this is something stories have talked about since we could think about it. Modern art, like TV and movies, often bring this sort of thing up, sometimes making the “point” of a piece of art the importance of that acceptance. But I won’t talk too much about that, because it would end with many spoilers … well, okay, just one: The Sixth Sense. But again, this ties back to the importance of choice, and the dangers of believing how you’re supposed to choose. How many people died or suffered because someone thought a deity or higher power wanted them to do something? How many did something wondrous and regal?

Noah is the latest from brilliant director Darren Aronofsky, who may be my favorite director, not because I think his movies are the greatest of all time but because they are all filled with courage and creativity, pushing the boundaries of what is reasonable from a mainstream release. Even The Wrestler, probably his most mainstream in terms of story structure and narrative arc, absolutely wrecked me. I own it, but I have yet to be able to rewatch it. Noah is loosely based on the tale (or fable or myth or true story or whatever you want to think) from the Bible, right near the beginning after the story of Adam and Eve. As something of a biblical reader myself, I recognized many of the apocryphal and less known elements, but also the ones explicitly mentioned in the text.

Of course, much of the movie is wholly invented full cloth to provide a full narrative arc that does an enormous amount on many, many themes and ideas. This is one of the few problems I had with the movie: it sometimes gets a bit lost, because it’s trying to do so much. The movie retells the story of Noah, starting from him as a child of the line of Seth, one of very few uncorrupted (for the most part) by the evils of humanity. Throughout the world, the descendants of Cain (as Abel, naturally, died young) have built off the land to the point of exploitation and severe damage. This is where the environmental message comes in, but there are a few points to be made on that. One is that a common interpretation of the Noah story is that he was vegetarian until after the flood, after which he was “permitted” to eat specific animals, and only without causing them undue pain. There is a strong message in the movie of “use but do not abuse,” one that shows that industry is not necessarily evil.

After all, the ark is built using tools and the mind of man, tearing down trees and hurting the environment — but not permanently, or anymore than is needed to complete the task. But that’s just one of the many ideas in the movie. Noah (Russell Crowe) is just living his life, raising his family with his wife (Jennifer Connelly) and three sons (Shem, Ham, Japeth) until they find an orphaned girl Ila (later played by Emma Watson). And then Noah gets a vision in a dream, trippy and dark, that tells him that the Creator (the only way any deity is referred to in the movie) is planning to flood the world. So Noah must travel to his grandfather, the ancient Methuselah (Anthony Hopkins in excellent extreme old age makeup) for some  help on what to do.

Noah decides he must protect the “innocents” of the world, the animals of the sky and ground, and starts building his ark. This is an important point of the movie, the initial decision and interpretation Noah makes of his visions. At no point is there an explicit command or Heavenly word of warning, Noah needs to decide for himself … although there are a few supernatural things to help him along. This is where some will begin to have issues with some parts of the movie. I don’t think everyone will like the inclusion of fallen angels here, which I won’t describe for spoilers sake, or the miraculous way Noah is helped to build the ark. But I think it all ties into several key themes of the movie.

One is that sometimes you can make a bad decision that doesn’t necessarily ruin things, if you figure out how to redeem yourself. Another is that trying to interpret the messages of a Creator is foolish when you don’t allow for the possibility that you might have it wrong. There is another potentially divisive element, the other humans, led by complicated but essentially villainous Tubal-cain (Ray Winstone). Tubal-cain is described in the Bible as essentially the inventor of “instruments of bronze and iron,” and according some interpretations, also all warlike weapons. Tubal-cain’s arc, the inverted arc of Noah (I can’t really explain without spoiling), is not without flaw, but hopefully will leave you feeling like it had weight and purpose. It all comes down to choices; Noah needs to decide how to fulfill the Creator’s will, sometimes when it breaks him or hurts the ones he loves … if he’s even doing the correct thing. But in the end, there is this feeling, with the mystical elements and large action scenes, that this is fantasy in the vein of Lord of the Rings, but with more maturity and complexity of character.

Now putting the story aside, how are the other elements of this movie? The acting … well, it’s slightly mixed. Russell Crowe is uniformly excellent from beginning to end, showing the best acting I’ve seen since LA Confidential. The other supporting players are good, although sometimes I found Ray Winstone a bit hammy, Jennifer Connelly a bit weepy in a scene or two, and Emma Watson sometimes a bit stretched. But this is Crowe’s show, with his physicality and gruff voice being used to great effect. As for the visuals, except for a few minor CGI faults, they are wonderful, and at times, truly beautiful. There is one particular sequence that is one of the best I’ve ever seen in any film — this is the sort of reason I admire Aronofsky so much. While others may harp on minor logical issues or inconsistent performances, sometimes the movies just ties it all together in away that is both subtle and loud, obvious and insidious. There are also the less obvious issues, like how the cast is basically entirely Caucasian, but I can’t really blame the director for that because I don’t know how much of a choice he had. But I will see this movie again, and ponder about it again.

The more time I think about this movie, the more I believe there is something to think about and discuss. It’s not the best movie Aronofsky’s done, or even the second best, but I am really happy it got made. Oh, and the music from Clint Mansell is truly epic.

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With the new cast of Dancing With the Stars announced, and the season premiere only hours away, it’s time for Kim and I to play catch up and dish on the stars, non-stars, and twists and turns coming this season.

CHUCK: The biggest issues we need to address first are the big shakeup in the personnel department. First we heard the Harold Wheeler Orchestra got the boot because they were going to use all pre-recorded, original music this time out … and then they went and hired a new band fronted by a former American Idol band leader. I know a lot of people out there hated the show’s music – and not necessarily the music, but the singers who often butchered the songs – but I thought Wheeler and his musicians and singers did an admirable job under tough circumstances. It’s hard to cut down and arrange a 3-plus minute song to a minute and a half, sometimes completely re-orchestrating the music to fit the style of the dance. I’m not sure how a stripped down band is going to work. I like the use of original music, but a live orchestra just adds to the ambiance. What do you think?

KIM: I never really had much of a problem with the music, to be honest. I was shocked to hear of this shakeup. I think original music would be a good format, but can they always get the rights to do that? The show wouldn’t be the same without the live music format. I hope they get this figured out!

CHUCK: And the second biggest elephant no longer in the room is the never delightful Brooke Burke-Charvet. I don’t know why they even bother giving Tom Bergeron a co-host. Bergeron really carried the show last season when they went from two nights to one which gave him more time to interact with the stars and pros as they waited for their judging and scores. It was much better than Brooke blathering on, sometimes seeming like she wasn’t even listening. My favorite Brooke moment was when they had her on the giant video screen above the stage and Tom was throwing to her and he said, “Brook, you’re enormous,” and her reply was, “Thanks Tom.” She was even more useless than Samantha Harris, and often turned an interview around to her experience on the show. Erin Andrews at least has reporting skills and DWTS experience, but I hope she doesn’t just ask more mindless questions.

KIM: I was never a big Brooke fan either. Let’s face it: she was mostly eye candy. I loved Erin when she was a contestant, so I’m hopeful about this change. She had a bubbly enthusiasm about her but she didn’t ever go overboard with it from what I remember. Thank goodness they didn’t get rid of Tom — he cracks me up every week! The show would definitely not be the same without Tom.

CHUCK: Tom is like Seacrest on Idol. No matter how many changes they make (and some think DWTS needs new judges too), Tom Bergeron should always be there! And then there’s the twist – later in the season, viewers will be able to vote on “The Switch Up,” which will rip apart the dance teams and force a celeb to dance with a new partner. I’m not sold on this idea at all. We watch the show to see the relationship develop between the star and their pro, and now just as they’re getting into a groove, they’re going to be torn apart?! It may inject drama into a show that has seen its ratings fall over the last few seasons, but it could also do some major damage as well.

KIM: Whaaat? I didn’t hear about this change! I very much dislike this idea! How can you root for any pairing with the knowledge that their partnership can change? Let’s hope they see the folly of this and don’t make it something they do every season because honestly that sounds like a turn-off to me. I have my favorite dance pros and my favorite celebrities and I usually stay pretty loyal to whomever I’m throwing my votes to each season.

CHUCK: Agreed. And then we come to the stars. Oh, they’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel. I know “big” names won’t do the show because they see it as a step down into obscurity, but I think it’s been proven over time that being on the show has its benefits as far as putting someone’s star on the ascent rather than descent. So this year, we have very little in the way of “stars” – and my definition of a star is someone from stage or screen. Athletes are athletes, they can be famous and popular, but for me they don’t fall into the definition of a “star.”

And this season is rife with athletes of whom I have absolutely no investment at the moment. I don’t even know who most of them are! So good luck Sean Avery, Meryl Davis, Amy Purdy and Charlie White, whoever you are. At least I do know Diana Nyad, but what, she wasn’t old enough to pair with Tristan so he’s off the show?!

KIM: If I’m being honest, Charlie White is the only athlete this season I’ve ever heard of, and I don’t even know much about him. But then again, I don’t watch very many sports, and I seldom know who very many of the athletes are. But the athletes usually win me over because they end up being pretty good dancers! And I’m saddened to hear Tristan won’t be on there this season. We can count on Maks to add some snarky entertainment though.

CHUCK: Yes, Maks is back, so that’s a plus. Moving on to people I do know. First, Drew Carey. I used to love his sitcom, but I really don’t like him on The Price Is Right. He never really seems invested in the contestants like Bob Barker was. He seemed more warm and human when he was heavier, but now he just comes off as cold and distant. He’s really going to have to work it to win me over.

KIM: I still love Drew Carey! I’m excited to see him lighter on his feet and ready to sweep his dance partner off hers. I hope he wears a bow tie every single week because that might be enough to win my votes.

CHUCK: Nene Leakes was someone I only knew of from one of those Real Housewives shows. Then I was appalled when I heard she was going to be on Glee, but she surprised me with her performance regardless of how one-note it was written. Then I adored her on The New Normal, and I’ve been a fan ever since (although I still refuse to watch a Real Housewives show). I hope she can dance, because right now I think she’s the only person I’m really rooting for!

KIM: I don’t even know who this person is, sorry Chuck. I don’t watch any of those shows you just mentioned. This sounds like someone I might be annoyed watching though, similar to Snooki. I just don’t have much respect or patience for “reality TV stars.”

CHUCK: But Nene has segued into acting pretty well, so I give her props for that. I have no idea who James Maslow is. Or Cody Simpson for that matter. One is from Nickelodeon and the other is from The Disney Channel. I guess a certain Canadian bad boy wasn’t available or willing to go on the show, but if you’re reading this Justin, Dancing With the Stars is the perfect career rehabilitation you could use right about now.

KIM: I have no clue on either of these kids either. I never know the Disney celebrity, but I’m usually won over because they pick pretty talented kids.

CHUCK: I only vaguely know Candace Cameron Bure. She was on some sitcom I never watched. I do, however, know Danica McKellar and I loved her as Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years. I wonder if her appearance is tied in to the long-awaited release of that show on DVD? I hope she does well. She’s a child star who grew up without getting into any tabloid-style trouble, so I’ll put her up on my list with Nene as to who I’d like to see succeed.

KIM: ’80s aficionado that I am, these are the two celebrities I am most excited to see this season! I loved Full House and The Wonder Years growing up and out of all the celebs, I have seen the most pictures of Candace rehearsing with Mark (maybe that’s because I follow both on social media). I have to say Candace and Mark look absolutely adorable together! And for the record, Candace also had a pretty squeaky clean record, Chuck. I hope her fellow Full House co-stars come to root for her because that would make my day. Actually, if Kevin Arnold came to root for Winnie Cooper, that would also make my day! I adore Fred Savage.

CHUCK: Maybe Danica can talk Fred into doing it next season! Of course, the geek crowd should tune in for Billy Dee Williams. I saw him recently as a judge on an episode of King of the Nerds, so I wonder if his sudden resurgence of TV work is tied in to that upcoming film sequel to a popular franchise in which he played a memorable role? Or maybe he’s here to show he’s still got it and JJ Abrams should take note (especially if some of the original stars are coming back). He may be able to pilot a spaceship, but I’m not sure if he’s going to have the dancing skills to get him very far. And any bets on if his first dance will be to the Stars Wars theme? And I think it’s time to start a Facebook page petitioning them to cast George Takei next season!

KIM: Stay classy, Cloud City! The nerd in me is excited to see Billy Dee, but I have a feeling you’re right Chuck. I can’t picture him being very graceful. And I would 100% sign a petition to cast George Takei — he would be a blast to watch! I doubt that will ever happen though.

CHUCK: If a Facebook page can get Betty White a gig on SNL, then I think we can get George on DWTS. I bet he’d jump at the chance! Oh My! Well, I think it’s safe to say that while we have a couple of interesting celebs on the show this season, the dearth of “stars” and the influx of athletes is going to drive the show over to ESPN soon. Perhaps it’s time to think about just doing the show once a year so the pool of potential participants isn’t drained completely. Let us know who you’re rooting for, and we’ll check back in occasionally to rank our favorites!