One of the most ear-opening things I heard at the opening event of the Machinima Interactive Film Festival in Los Angeles recently was a little conversation with one of the muckity-mucks waiting in line ahead of me for refreshment. He casually stated:

“John Hughes is to movie making what The Beatles are to music.”

Now I don’t know about you, but a statement like that is packed with at least one of the following things: ignorance, blind love or bullshit. In this particular case, I believe it was a little bit of all three.

“Really?” I asked.

“Have you seen any John Hughes movies?” I was queried. Subconsciously, my eyes began rolling to the point I thought I might need eye drops for fear they might catch fire from all the friction.

I put on the most natural looking face I could muster and responded “Yes … I’ve seen a few of them.” (After all, one of my biggest crushes in filmdom was lent to Molly Ringwald, who was featured in more than a few Hughes classics.)

And so began one of the loudest, most gastronomically-challenged, chuckle-stifling, on-the-verge-of-sweating-to-death opening events I’ve been privy to be a part of in some time.

The festival was supposed to be a showcase of some of the biggest and brightest video talents out there who have manipulated content to the point of going viral time and again. But all I witnessed was bad parody (featuring look-alikes of Peg Bundy from Married With Children and Carol Brady from The Brady Bunch), pixilated hoo-ha that was doing its best to spurn viewers rather than attract them, and semi-pornographic content that wasn’t worth the time and effort to be recorded let alone shown at an opening event. Screens were set up at kiosks along with private listening capabilities and, if you watched closely, you witnessed viewers’ eyes glaze over more often than not. Wasn’t this supposed to be a huge collaboration between Machinima (who provides programming to their core 18- to 34-year-old male demographic, “the dominant video entertainment network for gamers”), iam8bit (a creative marketing firm catering to film, music, fashion, games & more) and some of the brightest filmmakers on YouTube? Because the work displayed was not indicative of what one would think to be the best there was to offer.

It was mentioned I would get the opportunity to do a little probing of the Battlestar Galactica: Blood And Chrome creators, but I was informed that was “a different division of the company” and there was no one there who could answer any of my questions. So I was left meandering about looking for anything of interest at the gala. We were encouraged to “watch, enjoy and vote” on a dozen or so videos on display, but I didn’t find one to my liking in the least. The watching became tedious, there was no joy in it and there definitely wasn’t any inkling of a desire to vote.

Wandering around the show, the over-crowded rooms became increasingly sweaty and I found it rather comical 30-somethings would dare to bring there toddlers to such an event that featured bass-heavy music able to be felt right down to your bowels. The food offered was for the gamer contingent at a 3:00 a.m. nosh-fest (for the carnivore: chili fries with onions, the vegetarian: gravy fries with cheese curds) and the liquid refreshment came in the form of barely cooled wine, Phucket beer or water. Seating was practically non-existent (not that you generally sit at an event such as this), shouting was the normal manner in which you spoke with the person 8″ in front of you and, as the night moved along and more people were allowed in, it only got worse.

The saving grace for the show was some of the artwork displayed on the gallery walls: Profiles of Sigourney Weaver as Ripley from Alien (*swoon*) and The Dude himself, Jeff Bridges. Also of interest were a few of iam8bit’s marketing strategies such as that for Sega’s Aliens: Colonial Marines video game.

Visit either of the sites for Machinima or iam8bit and you’ll be treated to some pretty impressive content and marketing promotions. But why this collaborative decided to exhibit stuff as featured below was beyond my comprehension …

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfLS4nt5aQw

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtUSteNQOpw

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It’s hard to believe that the 25th edition of Survivor started this week. That’s a long run for any series — and remember, this translates to 12 years — particularly a reality competition show, and while the ratings aren’t what they were back in the day, the show still dominates its time period (it actually beat Fox’s The X Factor in its premiere outing, which must cause that network some concern).

While I’m still a fan of the show, and haven’t missed a season since its debut in the summer of 2000 (and I don’t know why CBS just doesn’t play Survivor in one half of the season and The Amazing Race in the other instead of rushing two back-to-back seasons into production, thus diminishing the quality of the shows and the people selected to play), it’s been quite obvious for several years now that they’ve really run out of ideas and have had to resort to stunt casting, recycled challenges, over-the-top (i.e. crazy) people, and creative editing to make something exciting out of the season. That even extends to the “On the next episode of Survivor” previews — remember the “Hurricane Na’Onka” teaser that promised a total meltdown and it was nothing more than her being mildly irritated? It’s this kind of thing that has taken the shine off of what can be an interesting show, but the obvious editing choices at times (storylines are created and then dropped, or some decision comes out of the blue because we’ve not been allowed to see the important moments that led up to that … at least with Big Brother, you have 24-hour access via the live stream, so you know what’s happening even when the TV edit doesn’t quite mesh with those events), and the fact that the producers, including Jeff Probst, now have to rely on returning players each season, just shows that maybe it’s time for them to take a little breather, a short hiatus, and then come back with a stronger format that gives us a game with people who really want to play (not cast for their looks and personality), and not those who have already played. Like this season’s three returning players.

Everyone selected for Survivor: Philippines should have known something was up when they were broken into three tribes of five each. Just like with this year’s Big Brother, anyone with a basic grasp of simple math would know that 15 people are not enough to take them through the 39 days of the show. But they still were shocked, upset, and/or surprised when three past players returned to the game to join each tribe. The returnees, Russell Swan, Michael Skupin and Jonathan Penner, have all played the game but are really more famous among the fans for being airlifted off the show due to an injury. Russell nearly died in front of Jeff Probst during a challenge, Penner developed a life-threatening infection after he gashed his leg, and Skupin famously fainted into the camp fire after inhaling some smoke, burning the skin off of his hands (and I can’t believe that was all the way back in season two). I’m okay with bringing two of the three back because they — Swan and Skupin — only played the game once. This is Penner’s third time, so to say he’s getting a second chance is a bit of a stretch. (But at least they had the good sense not to bring back the dreadful Colton.) So now that the formerly injured players are getting another chance, what are their chances of staying in the game longer than Russell Hantz did the last time he played the game? And have they learned anything from watching the show in the meantime?

Their fates certainly depend on their behavior with their respective tribes, and in how resentful the tribes are to have a former player with them. Do they want to give someone who knows the game another chance to win? Granted, none of these guys are Rob Mariano, none of them have ever come close to winning in the past, so even though they’ve played the game, they’re still not what you would consider an “all-star.” I think the person with the best chance of staying in the game the longest is Skupin. His tribe welcomed him with open arms, and they seem to be in awe of him because of his injury. Everyone wanted to see his hands as soon as they met him, and they just seemed honored to be in his presence. Skupin also has a genial, down-to-earth personality that will allow him to play a great social game, so as long as he doesn’t get too bossy around camp and can contribute to winning challenges, he should make it to the merge. (And let’s not kid ourselves … these three tribes will become two or one before you know it. These “experiments” never seem to last more than three episodes.)

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