Diary of a Gossip Girl Virgin – OMG! Pretty girls and underage drinking

(Season 1, Episodes 1-4)

Beyond being young, female and a little gossipy, I don’t consider myself part of Gossip Girl‘s sexy target demographic. Trust funds and body shimmer aren’t particularly important to me, so I shouldn’t be interested in GG, right? As it turns out, my rebellious streak, surly demeanor and the ominous theremin music that follows me wherever I go were not enough to save me from the GG tractor beam pull (though a reference like that should). As much as I have tried to resist, I had to check it out, just to see what the CW thinks people my age want.

I must confess, though, this isn’t actually my first time. Several months ago, I watched half of the first GG episode and then promptly forgot most of it and moved on with my life. I only had lingering memories of someone dancing on the table as Air’s “Photograph” played in the background (I really like that echo-y intro to the song). But that was it. GG never called again and I could only answer their “OMFG” print ads with an “IDGI” and a shrug.

Well, blame the lack of new material currently on TV, blame the casts’ knee-high socks and over-priced scarves, blame whatever, because I’m back. The sad appeal of trashy teen drama has caught my attention again, and although this affair may not last particularly long and I may not admit it to anyone outside the Internet walls of this blog, I figured I might as well try it again to see what the hype is about.

Here are some scattered thoughts about the first four episodes.

Has everyone forgotten that Chuck Bass tried to rape two girls? At this point, the number of fangirls drooling over Chuck Bass online really weirds me out. Again, he basically tried to rape Serena and little J within his first 15 minutes of screentime, creating an unforgivable level of sleaze in his character, way, way beyond basic douchebaggery and cockiness. I’m guessing I’m supposed to reach a point where I start to root for him, but it’s not happening just yet. Though, I’ll admit his “I’m … Chuck Bass” line from the usher interviews was kind of aweso — Oh wait, but he tried to rape two girls.

The costumes are marvelous. I’ve revived my appreciation for ties and piped blazers after seeing the GG crew. That is not to say I’ve started dressing like a schoolgirl. I simply pair my skull t-shirts with a nice, respectable cardigan, that’s all.

Is it possible to punch a disembodied voice in the face? I’m only a few episodes in but I’m already tired of Kristen Bell’s “XOXO … Gossip Girl.” Does she keep her promise and never ever reveal anything about herself, forever serving as a narrator? I’m just going to throw this prediction out there, but I bet in Season Five, we’ll find out that Gossip Girl is actually Perez Hilton’s side project and the voice was actually produced with a Kristen Bell voice-changing helmet. Yes, that means by Season Five, someone will have invented a Kristen Bell voice-changing helmet.

Can I be a pointless token ethnic chick? Seems like an easy job. Somehow, the inclusion of the hilariously useless Kati and Izzy (those are their names, right?) makes the show seem even more whitewashed. I vaguely recall some news about one or the other leaving the cast a few years ago, so I’m interested in seeing how that works into the story, if at all. Maybe we’ll just never, ever have to care about them, because I certainly don’t feel anything about them right now.

The hook hurts, but it’s dug into my lip enough; I’ll check out the rest of the season before deciding whether or not I need to be thrown back in the water.

XOXO,

Annie

Clacked by Annie Wu
on Jan 07, 2009 @ 13:30 EST5EDT