American Idol: The Top Mediocre Eight and results show

Michael’s back Guest-clacking about American Idol again….

(This entry didn’t make it to yesterday’s posting. It is provided here, none the worse for wear … combined with Michael’s results show commentary, so read on….)

*sigh*

An hour (more, actually) of so-so so-ness from everyone Tuesday night. You can’t call’em high-lights and you can’t call’em low-lights, so here, for you dining and dancing pleasure, are the mediocre-lights for The Top Eight:

Danny “The Gokester” Gokey “Stand By Me,” Mickey Gilley (1980)
Not anywhere near what he’s capable of, but it doesn’t make a difference this early in the game. The Gokester’s not going anywhere.

Kris Allen “All She Wants to Do is Dance,” Don Henley (1985)
Ouch. This was a mess of a performance. From the goofy vocals right down to the arrangement, this was nothing less than a song gone wrong. Everyone stumbles. This was Kris’ gaff.

Lil Rounds “What’s Love Got to Do With It,” Tina Turner (1984)
Talk about a tune swallowing you whole. This one did just that for Lil. In the earlier rounds, she was kicking some butt. Now? The lilt in her voice isn’t doing her any favors and she has zero command of the songs she sings. What happened? Lil is not long for the competition unless she can pull a performance out of her hat.

Anoop Desai “True Colors,” Cyndi Lauper (1986)
Anoop is a hit and miss kinda guy. Last week he was utterly dreadful. This week he hit the nail on the head. This song could have tripped him up spectacularly, but he took control of it, spun it just right and came away the winner. When Anoop is on, he’s on. This was what we saw when he originally got through in the competition. Nice to have you back.

Scott MacIntyre The Search is Over”, Survivor (1985)
Scott, it’s been a good run for you, but you’ve met your end. This was nothing less than atrocious. I like the guy, but you have to wonder, especially after a performance like this, how he lost so much steam so quickly. The guitar licks did nothing but emphasize how poorly his singing was on this tune. And that cracking, screeching falsetto had me not only grimacing, but holding my hands to my ears as well. *yikes*

Allison “Red” Iraheta “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” Bonnie Raitt (1992)
Red blows every other candidate for the top spot out of the water. She takes a song — even a throw away tune such as this one — and makes it something you want to hear all over again. She knows exactly what to do with it and goes out there and does it. Even when she falters, as she did a time or two during her performance, it’s as if you don’t notice because you’re convinced she knows exactly what she’s doing. And she does.

Matt Giraud “Part-Time Lover,” Stevie Wonder (1985)
I have no idea what the judges were hooting and hollering about with this dance-floor-smoothy version of Little Stevie’s minor hit, but I had to take a roll of paper towels and wipe the overly-sweet sugariness out of my mouth when he was done. I think I have a cavity. Sadly, I believe Matt’s hanging around another week.

Adam “Screaming Mimi” Lambert “Mad World,” Tears for Fears (1982)
How can you go wrong with a Tears For Fears tune? You can’t, really. And if you do, it’s not for the sake of a badly written tune, let me tell you. So Adam decided to take on the Gary Jules version of this song, hmmm? Outside a minor almost-screech and a falsetto gone south a bit, there wasn’t a single thing wrong with this performance. And here’s the rub: I don’t like Adam. A friend told me I wouldn’t like this performance. I’m happy to report that is not the case.

Bottom Three Prediction: Scott MacIntyre, Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud. And I believe it’s the end of the line for Scotty.

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(And the wrap up from last evening.)

Hey, how ’bout a quick wrap up?

The opening song went on forever … and ever … and ever … and ever … and ever … ad nauseum. Didn’t it?

“You spin my head right round right round when you go down when you go down …” Talk about your ‘R’ rated Idol shows. Has there ever been such a thing? ‘Cause this Flo-Rida song made it one tonight, folks.

Picker. She’s grown up, but she’s still the same ‘ole Pickler. And sorry, the song was laughable … especially when she “gah-gah-gagged” through the middle of it.

You see my Bottom Three picks above. But Matt was replaced with Anoop. Reminds me of Meatloaf: “… two outta three aint’ bad …”

And in the end, my pick for the ousting came true. (Doesn’t seem like there was any big trick to that now, was there?) Scott, Scott, Scott. How is it you did so, so much better the second time ‘round on that song? You were actually pulling it off somewhat … until you hit that the high note once more.

I am going to miss you, Scotty. It was a genuine kick you got this far along in the competition.

Clacked by Guest Clacker
on Apr 09, 2009 @ 16:00 EST5EDT