Six themes South Park should tackle next

If there’s one thing South Park is well known for it’s how true to current events the themes tend to be. In fact, a lot of people were amazed at how the show was able to get an episode out the day after the 2008 elections, featuring Obama in the seat of presidency. They’ve also taken on topics like Guitar Hero, Scientology, the economy, High School Musical, Kanye West, and Somalian pirates with timely precision.

So, what’s the world been up to lately that South Park should take on when it returns next week (October 7)? Here are a few that come to mind:

Twitter and Facebook — My mind’s a bit foggy over whether or not South Park ever featured Facebook, though I’m near certain Twitter has never made an appearance before. The popularity of the service skyrockets every month, so it’s only a matter of time before Cartman’s Tweeting it up. Oh wait a minute: he already does. Picture the kids fighting over how many followers they have, for example, or how you can’t recall Tweets once you send them — it’s there, forever, for the world to see. In fact, wouldn’t it be brilliant if Comedy Central somehow featured the follower count of their Twitter accounts as they actually happened, live on TV, as viewers added them? Alright, maybe not.

The iPhone — … or at least cellphones in general. Alright, maybe I’m knocking on the techie door a bit much when it comes to this, but it seems the iPhone and its companion app store are seemingly everywhere these days. I could imagine a character on the show coming up with a Terrence & Philip iPhone app that does nothing but farts (I know, already done), costs $0.99, and they stand to make millions of dollars … until Steve Jobs yanks it out of the app store for no apparent reason. Cue the boys making a pilgrimage to Cupertino to confront the manatees or whatever they are that control the app approval process.

The Jaycee Lee Dugard kidnapping — What, you think Parker and Stone would stay away from a sensitive subject like this? No freakin’ way! This story is ripe with South Park possibilities. Imagine one of the boys being kidnapped, then we flash to South Park 18 years in the future when he returns and has to be re-established into society. Or how about Kenny finding out that all this time his parents aren’t his true parents, and he was kidnapped years ago before he can remember. Alright, so I don’t have the greatest ideas when it comes to this, but I won’t be surprised to see an episode around it.

Fantasy sports – I’m surprised we haven’t seen any of this on South Park yet. This could be a storyline for the kids or the adults, though I immediately picture Stan’s father being obsessed with playing fantasy sports. So much so, in fact, that he plays fifteen different leagues at once and does that absurd thing when fantasy players feel kinship with the players on their fantasy team, as if they’re a real coach.

Swine Flu — This is a no-brainer. The premise is simple. Swine Flu runs rampant in the school, and the hunt is out for the one person — Patient Zero — who started the epidemic, with Cartman leading the way. Wrap the whole thing around any current zombie movie premise and you’ve got yourself an episode. In the end, it turns out Cartman is to blame and he knew it all along.

Michael Jackson’s death — I’m not really sure how this would work into an episode, but I’m sure the writers would think of something. Heck, he’s been featured before as “Mr. Jefferson” with his son, Blanket, on the show before. Maybe due to “Mr. Jefferson’s” death, Blanket moves permanently to South Park in order to get out of the spotlight. It turns out Jefferson never gave away the money he said he would, so Blanket’s on the run with it. You could also substitute Jackson’s death with a number of other notable ones this year, including Billy Mays and Farrah Fawcett.

Any other topics from 2009 that you could imagine seeing covered on South Park?

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Sep 29, 2009 @ 14:00 EST5EDT