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The All New, All Different Girls Next Door – CliqueClack Preview

The (New) Girls Next DoorE! sent along a copy of the season premiere of The Girls Next Door, to prepare me for the actual premiere this Sunday night at 10:30. Unfortunately, while the episode features three all new “girls,” there weren’t any sent with the disc. I could have handled a couple of hot nineteen-year old twins standing on my porch holding my package….

Good lord, did I just say that? What has this show done to me?

In a way, Hef is now the focal point of The Girls Next Door. He and the mansion are the staples that have carried over into this new iteration. But it is called The Girls Next Door, and after five years with Bridget, Holly and Kendra are we ready to meet and fall in love with a whole new set of girlfriends? And do we need two Kendras?

I think that may be one of the first weaknesses in the new cast. Kristina and Karissa are admittedly not just identical twins, but identical personalities. And that personality seems more than similar to Kendra’s dim-witted persona, than a well-rounded human being. But whereas Kendra was balanced by two girls with smarts and distinctive interests of their own, the twins only have the slightly older Crystal.

And Kendra had her own quirks, such as her obsession with sports and the “gangsta” lifestyle. So far, the twins giggle a lot and dyed their little white dogs pink. And they like to get naked a lot. They’re like “Girls Gone Wild” who stumbled into the mansion.

At 23, Crystal is Hef’s new “#1 Girlfriend.” But, as she’s quick to point out, she’s not “the new Holly. Holly’s the old me.” She also has a job at the mansion, working with Hef’s massive personal photo collection to try and make functional scrapbooks out of it making ten dollars an hour.

So not only does she live in the Playboy Mansion and get all the perks of that lifestyle, but she’s working there making more per hour than many hard-working Americans right now. But I guess it was never about thinking that these girls were anything like us. It’s fantasy role-playing, or just looking at hot naked chicks all the time.

Hef does live a fantasy life. How many of us can walk out into our front yard and see two beautiful naked twins washing our car? I know at my house they’re usually arrested before I can get dressed and get out there. Damn the law!

I thought it was pretty smart to incorporate a trip to Vegas so the new girls could check in on Holly. It helps the audience transition into these new girlfriends if we feel confident they have Holly’s blessing. But it also reminded me that I liked Holly and she has a distinct personality.

The problem, I think, is that after five seasons getting to know the original “Girls,” there’s an inevitable learning curve with these new ones. At the same time, I can’t help but feel that we got a lot more unique personality traits than “dumb blonde” out of the original cast right away.

One of the biggest changes over five seasons has been Hef himself. In the early seasons he was such a recluse, hardly leaving the mansion for any reason. The original girls pulled him out of his shell and now he’s back to traveling the world and showing that spark of life that made him into the legendary “Hef” in the first place.

With Hef in place, it almost doesn’t matter who they surround him with. A show about life in the Playboy Mansion is just as much fun if it focuses on him and Mary and the goings on at the head of the Playboy empire. The hot girls are just a bonus!

Photo Credit: E! Entertainment

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