The best quotes from Futurama’s return

From “Rebirth”:

“On the count of three, you will awaken feeling refreshed, as if Futurama had never been canceled by idiots, then brought back by bigger idiots. One. Two.” – Bender

“Gasp! You mean you don’t remember?” – Professor
“Nope. Nothing. It’s like when I passed out in college, except no one drew magic marker penises on my forehead.” – Fry

“Of course! That was the Panama Wormhole, Earth’s central channel for shipping!” – Professor
“Snicker. How humorous.” – Zoidberg
“Yes, it’s sort of a comedy central channel. And we’re on it now!” – Professor
“Gasp! I get it!” – Amy

“We’ve lost power of the forward Gameboy! Mario not responding!” – Fry

“Yet thanks to my trusty safety sphere, I sublibed with only tribial brain dablage.” – Professor

“Come on stem cells! Work your astounding scientific nonsense!” – Professor
“Fetal stem cells? Aren’t those controversial?” – Fry
“In your time, yes. But nowadays, shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults, whom I killed for their stem cells.” – Professor

“Hermes, my friend! Let me cut off your umbilical cord! … oops.” – Zoidberg

“I’m dying! I need mouth-to-ass resuscitation!” – Bender
“I’m on it! Huff huff huff huff. It’s not working!” – Fry
“He he heh. I’ll die happy knowing you fell for that.” – Bender

“Dr. Zoidberg, can you note the time and declare the patient legally dead?” – Professor
“Can I! That’s my specialty!” – Zoidberg

“Ah! I’m a robot too!” – Fry
“Ah hah! That explains this growth on your drive shaft!” – Zoidberg
“But how is this possible?” – Fry
“Who knows? Oh, I do … ” – Professor

“Fry!” – Robot Fry
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that I was already here.” – Fry

From “In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela”:

“I wax my rocket every day!” – Zapp Brannigan

“I surrender, and volunteer for treason!” – Zapp

“Magnify that death sphere…. Why is it still blurry?” – Zapp
“That’s all the resolution we have. Making it bigger doesn’t make it clearer.” – Kif
“It does on CSI: Miami!” – Zapp

“It erased that planet like 18 minutes of incriminating tape.” – President Nixon’s head

“This ship should be able to sneak undetected through the sphere’s one vulnerable opening.” – Professor
“What vulnerable opening?” – Hermes
“All death spheres have one vulnerable opening!” – Professor

“And this is a top-secret FCC satellite launched that same year, to censor indecent TV programs.” – Professor
“Like The Pimpsons? And Assorama?” – Bender

“Maybe you and I were meant to build a new world here.” – Leela
“We can avoid humanity’s mistakes.” – Zapp
“Like the tuba.” – Leela
“Yes! We can be like Adam and Eve!” – Zapp
“Only without the tuba!” – Leela

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Jun 24, 2010 @ 23:34 EST5EDT