Hungover in Hell’s Kitchen

Siobhan and Benjamin. Benjamin and Siobhan. Shut up already! All through this episode of Hell’s Kitchen these two go at it like two cats in a bag. And I hate that expression. Poor cats. But the visual is a perfect one, and the hatred is flying.

How many times can Benjamin tell us and my Gordon Ramsay that Siobhan “lacks technical skills and passion?” I counted at least three. Always those same words by route too. It’s like he practices in a mirror or something. Heesh! I get it already.

I must say I do enjoy Siobhan’s rebuttals to Benjamin. They are peppered with “go f@#k yourself” and “I’ll show him!” I rub my palms together in glee at how badly she lets Benjamin get to her. Is that so wrong? I thought not.

This particular challenge, Siobhan and Benjamin come to culinary blows over sandwiches. Yes, sandwiches. And why not? A good sandwich is hard to find. In fact, I’m trying to think if there’s even a decent sandwich served in my entire town right now, and nothing is coming to me. Obviously, Gordon’s idea of a “Sandwich Challenge” is not as dumb as I first thought.

Since there are more Red than Blue Team members at this point, the Red Team must choose a sandwich to be left out of the challenge. Benjamin, having proclaimed himself the benevolent dictator of the Reds, immediately sees his opportunity to screw over Siobhan, and talks the others into booting out her tuna on toast. But there turns out to be a twist, when Siobhan’s sandwich has to break the tie. She wins it for the Red Team, and oh boy. I haven’t seen gloating like that since my sister had a baby.

Everything was “my sandwich this and my sandwich that.” I felt like I was in grade school, and I loathed grade school, so I began to slightly loathe Siobhan.

And Benjamin! What a butt rash. He is so conceited, he’d write a letter of recommendation for his own self. It’s nauseating, really. Not only does he take Siobhan aside after the challenge, the challenge that she won, and tell her he’d “never serve that sandwich in my restaurant.” No, that’s not enough ego. He actually compares himself to Gordon! Whut?? Benjamin says smugly, “Like chef Ramsay is brutally honest, I am brutally honest.” Eye roll.

Meanwhile the Blue Team gets wasted during their reward trip to the winery. And after. Autumn and Ed were slurring, and showing their Johnsons, respectively. Who in the world would get drunk knowing the long hours and grueling chef that they will face the next day? Hello? Just another problem with young people today! Wait. Who let my Grandma in here?

I was especially surprised at the devious Autumn-rosa. She has spent most of her time in HK being Betty Perfect. And she just got embarrassingly tanked, then allowed herself to be interviewed. She knew how bad off she was too. Just before they showed video of her falling off her bed while trying to remove her boots, she slurs out, “No more drinks for Autumn!” Um. Too late there, girlie.

The Blue Team pays the piper at dinner service. I really don’t know how to describe dinner service this time, except to say that the feces hit the fanblades big time. Siobhan got called a donkey, Fran was compared to pigeon crap, and every last one of them got kicked out of the kitchen. It was fabulous!

Oh, and the Benjamin and Siobhan thing? Well. When Siobhan lets Benjamin take over her station yet again without sticking up for herself, she signs her own death warrant. Really, Siobhan. Do you think my Gordon wants a sissy running his Savoy restaurant?

Jay’s still the odds on favorite. Ed might catch him, if he can stay sober and keep “Mr. Ed” in his pants. See you next week, Donkeys!

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Jun 30, 2010 @ 17:30 EST5EDT