American Idol – And then there was one … judge

So.

Randy Jackson. You’re it, dude.

With Kara Dio Guardi’s departure from American Idol, you’re left holding the fort, Dawg. And I’m good with that.

Why is Kara leaving? No clue. Fox issued the following statement on her behalf: “I felt like I won the lottery when I joined American Idol two years ago, but I feel like now is the best time to leave …”.

Hmmmmmmmmmm. With a reported one-year option remaining on her contract, it’s anybody’s guess why she decided to follow Simon Cowell and Ellen DeGeneres out the door. But this much we know: Fox decided not to exercise that option. (Maybe the ‘Powers That Be’ are smarter than we think.)

As I did with Ellen DeGeneres, here’s a sampling of what we said about Kara during the past season. Every once in a blue moon, I agreed with what she said. (“I hate to admit it, but I was in agreement with Kara … someone take my temperature!”). The majority of the time, however, she grated on my nerves each week … and, obviously, with a few others as well …

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“Love that Idol isn’t doing the “original” anymore, either. ‘Member last year’s Kara DioGuardi song about rivers and oceans and climbing mountains? Blergh.” - Marnie

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“Kara haiku: Hi, I’m Kara G / I love to hear myself talk / Don’t you miss Paula?” - Luna Tick

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“Why is Kara even still on the show? No one liked her last season so they keep her around? Doesn’t make sense.” - Oreo

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“I’ll shut it now a’fore you call me Kara Jr.” - MissRiss

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“Did you notice right after Ryan made the comment about HR on Friday she was “all too quick” to mention … her lawyer.” - sandyeggo

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“From the first moment (Kara) had (contestant Casey James) take down his hair and unbutton his shirt I thought I’d puke. If he was a few years younger they could skip over PR, not stop at GO and go directly to jail.” - Lois

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“Soft porn? I believe you know my criteria on this matter … ya know … like did (Kara) carry an Uzi, an M-60, an anti-aircraft gun?” - ashton

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“I wonder if Kara has fulfilled her Megan’s Law obligation and registered yet or if she’s still in the grace period? How do you think it will impact her bid to produce the soundtrack for the upcoming Mary Kay Letourneau biopic?” - Luna Tick

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“… she’s like sandpaper on a sensitive body part.” - CliqueClack writer Tara Shrodes

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“I was wondering how long it was (going) to take her to mention she was married.” - mufan

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Even our buddy Ryan Seacrest got in on the fun. I mentioned:

“… you just have to love the guy in this instance … was the only one who kept his head about him. He summed it up best when he came on stage after the judges had their say: ‘Just looking ahead at the schedule: As you know … tomorrow results … and then Friday Kara’s HR (human resources) meeting.…’”

Lastly, even some of the contestants threw it back at her. In one memorable bit of post-performance banter between Kara and Crystal Bowersox after Crystal’s performance of Sinatra’s ‘Summer Wind’:

• Kara: “It was out of your element.”
• Crystal, in strong retort: “No … it wasn’t out of my element.”

Look: We’re all going to look back and realize Kara’s stint on American Idol was loads of dramatical fun for our dancing and dining pleasure. And I guarantee you we’re going to miss it in some way, shape or form, believe me. We may have inwardly cringed each time Kara spoke, but, after the fact, some little part of us is going to be lacking.

So … Randy Jackson? Let’s see what you and Nigel Lithgoe do with the incoming ‘fresh meat’ in January.

Yeah … yeah … I hear you complaining. But you’re going to tune in to American Idol anyway. I will.

And I know you will, too.