Dancing With the Stars – Michael Bolton right outta there!

Rut roh. I never have liked Michael Bolton. What with his weird mullet and horrible warble and all. Yet. I have to admit, I felt a bit sorry for him last night on Dancing With the Stars. He got completely raked over the coals by the judges. And while yes, his “dance” was painful to watch, I get a bit twitchy when the judges go for the jugular.

It seems to happen every year too. Let’s remember, these “stars” are not supposed to be good dancers. That’s the premise of the show. At the beginning, they are supposed to be … um, beginners, each week slowly improving. Not great coming out of the gate, if you will. If they were awesome from the get go, the show would be called Dancing With the Stars Who Happen to Be Dancers!

As we enter the eleventh season, that initial idea seems to be getting lost. I feel as if the judges (except for Carrie Ann) are critiquing like it was week 8, not week two.

Having said that, I’ll let judges Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli speak for themselves. These are their words after Michael Bolton danced to “You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog.” He opened the number by crawling out of a doghouse and spent a lot of time chasing a bone, dangled by his partner Chelsie Hightower. As I said, it wasn’t pleasant. But hey! I saw Buzz Aldrin do worse!

Len: I don’t think the world is ready for your interpretation of the jive. It had everything in there; it probably needed a pooper scooper in there as well just to finish it off.

Bruno: Michael, I am a dog lover, but you make it so hard for me. (Cut to Bolton with a bone in his mouth.) Go back into the doghouse. You did it all — very, very very badly. I think this is probably the worst jive in 11 seasons. I hated it.

Len: O.K. you hated it, but you should keep some of your comments to yourself because that is unfair.

Bruno: Why? You said you needed a pooper scooper. Who’s going to go and collect it? You can go. I don’t.

Sigh. Len did try to back peddle when Bruno took his comment and ran with it, but they were both equally mean. Methinks that the original nasty man, Simon Cowell, has set some sort of precedent. Now, if you’re a reality judge, you get more attention from being the biggest and most offensive.

This irritates me.

In other news, someone asked me in my last review why I’m not talking about Bristol Palin. My answer being that in these early days, I’m concentrating on the celebrities that are getting the highest and lowest scores. I’m not really concerned about the people in the middle yet. They’re performing on the average. So what is there really to say? And I’m definitely not going to use my review to talk about politics. I could. But I won’t. How I feel about her mother has no relevance to the show. So that’s that about that.

Michael’s out. Of that I’m certain. Unless the cougar fans get all het up and vote. In that case, farewell to The Situation dude. Which has me thinking. Maybe if the Bolt was awful but 80 like Buzz, a schmaltzy icon like Wayne Newton, or a hot tamale like Kim Kardashian, Len and Bruno would not have been so hateful. Serves them right that they got the evil Bolton stare. For shame!

And just for the record … Jennifer Grey is sooo the winner. Unless she injures herself. Which is a possibly, with her neck problems. I was completely blown away to hear that last October, she went to a doctor to get the O.K. on taking part in the show, and they found cancer in her spine! She credits her participation in saving her life, as she is now cancer free.

Lots of drama folks. And undoubtedly more to come…. Who’s your favorite so far? Don’t be afraid to unleash the comments here!

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Sep 28, 2010 @ 10:00 EST5EDT