I don’t know if you spend much time analyzing the differences and similarities between real life and television, or comparing your life to those fictional lives you see portrayed, but I seem to do it often. There are many different topics to discuss in this arena, but today the one that came to mind was the depiction of sex on prime time network television. While I could add cable to the mix, the rules are so different that I want to narrow the focus to prime time networks.
It’s a somewhat disturbing trend when I look at the shows I watch and realize the reason sex is most often mentioned is when it is accompanied by a crime. All of the CSI, NCIS and Law & Order shows, for example, are strewn with sex, but none of it is good. Funny thing is, those are highly rated shows that the average American seems to enjoy. Crimes about sex are good television fare.
Earlier this season, there was quite a stink about the season premiere of The Good Wife because of a depiction of oral sex between Alicia and Peter Florrick. Their sexual relations are not necessarily the best example, given their questionable relationship status (he cheated on her and she has a work crush), but they are a married couple. Married couples engage in sex. It seems, in that instance, depicting a sexual act would not be earth shattering. Essentially, we saw her head lean back as he knelt down. But, if you look up the instance on Google, it spawned a ridiculous number of articles asking if prime time is ready for oral sex. They have certainly described, in words, far more detailed acts on the crime shows noted above than was shown in the high profile scene on The Good Wife.
We also have the Shonda Rhimes entries into prime time that spend a great deal of time focused on sex. Grey’s Anatomy was initially a merry-go-round of sexual partners passed between characters, although most of them have settled into steady relationships now. Private Practice is still struggling with the merry-go-round effect, but the characters involved are adults and always consenting. They show that sex can be fun and enjoyable, and enhance a healthy relationship. Charlotte and Cooper are a wonderful example a couple exploring all aspects of their love and friendship with a great dose of sexuality.
Parenthood alludes to sex in a less racy nature, and on Modern Family or Cougar Town, for example, you know it’s happening but it’s not too detailed. They don’t seem to cross the line that leads to blog posts and newspaper articles concerning its inclusion in the shows. Could sex in comedy (or dramedy) be easier for people to stomach? Not necessarily.
A recent Glee photo shoot for “GQ Magazine” caused quite a huff because the actors, although of age, are depicting teens on the program. But, parents let their children watch Hannah Montana long after Miley Cyrus was dressing and acting far too sexy for her age, and worse than was depicted in the GQ spread that was called by the Parents TV Council “borderline pornography.” Why would the backlash for Glee actors outweigh that of Miley Cyrus?
All in all, the shows that take the most flack when representing anything sexual are those that portray sex between consenting adults as healthy and enjoyable. Toss in a crime spree, and all discussions are on the table and rarely subject to the aforementioned scrutiny. Personally, I find that disturbing. While we don’t want our kids running amok and screaming, “Just do it,” and jumping into situations before they’re ready, we also don’t want them to think our world is overrun with sexual perverts or that sex will be scary or unenjoyable. Parents should be monitoring what their children watch, regardless of the content. Even so, I am continually surprised at what is considered offensive and racy and what leaves people untroubled.
What are your thoughts on sex in prime time? Am I off base? Do you think sex on television is suffering an identity crisis?
Clacked by Carissa Pavlica 
on Oct 28, 2010 @ 12:00 EST5EDT
Unfortunately, as a society we’re just scared of sex and nudity (look at the brouhaha Katy Perry’s boobs caused on Sesame Street). You have a lot of uptight, ultra-conservative people in this country who know how to make their moral beliefs heard and they thrust them on the rest of us. To them, sex is something dirty and should be kept behind closed doors. Don’t teach kids about it in the proper way, don’t teach it in school, don’t show it on TV and in movies. Murder as many people as you want, just don’t have sex! Look back at the slasher films of the 80s. The formula was if you had sex, you died while the innocent/virginal female ended up the lone survivor of the killing spree. It’s also funny that these same uptight people want to deny marriage rights to same sex couples on the basis that they can’t procreate, but if sex is such an unpleasant and dirty deed I can’t imagine how any of these people managed to have kids of their own! Maybe if we cracked down on violence on television and were more open about sex, we’d have more well-adjusted people in this world!
Ha this reminds me of the trailer for “Scream 4″
“The rules have changed. Even virgings can die now” :-D
*POST AUTHOR*
I smell a typo. :-D Is that really the tagline?
*POST AUTHOR*
I sometimes feel like a pariah in my desire for kids to learn the good things about sex, and the bad things about crime. Hell, half the time criminals are rich, famous and getting away with it all. But God forbid breasts, which FEED OUR CHILDREN for crap’s sake should be shown in a way that enhances their beauty. Ugh. It’s so frustrating!
Whose kids? Teach yours whatever you like, just don’t ask to teach mine :)
Please Mrs. Pavlica could you tell us?
Wonder what your Halloween getup looks like and what you are going to have in that bowl of yours… hard candy I guess :-D
I wanted to reply to your comment way down but all your comments are tier 3 and you won’t get a notification otherwise.
The movies that scarred me the most during my childhood:
– Animal Farm
– The Last Unicorn
– Tarantula
Nobody talked ot me about these movies. The first two aired between 2pm and 4pm during school holidays as part of children’s programming.
Go figure.
*POST AUTHOR*
Oooh! My scariest movie? The Other. Leave it to the Germans to scare the living crap out of me and keep me from ever jumping into a big hay pile.
I have no idea hot to make the title a link, so go here. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069050/
Sebastian the Last Unicorn was terrifying! We should start a support group.
I think this is the natural result of censorship. There are a lot of interest groups that don’t want sex on TV. There are a couple of documentaries on this subject, one of the good ones being This Film is not yet rated. I mean it’s not as if this is only happening on TV. Kevin Smith’s movie with Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks “Zack and Miri make a Porno” wasn’t allowed to have their original film poster and the ratings board wanted to give it an NC-17. Smith appealed and won the lower rating.
Also these shows make money via DVD sales and rentals via Netflix and iTunes. If you get a high rating this directly resulting in less revenue via these channels.
The fun thing about this is that, much the same as on 24 news networks, the people who shout the loudest get their say the most. There are just a couple of TV stations that are owned by christian groups but often enough they make all the difference – because it only takes one person to “throw the first stone” in not airing something, and others follow, not having been the first one.
And the kicker? The MPAA is an absolutely non-transparent organisation which doesn’t follow their own rules (meaning some of the members of the board were on it for decades and most of them are in their 40s and have children, meaning it’s not a meadian of the general public when they decide).
Of course we all just want the government to educate our children and that’s why nobody objects to censorship. One of the good storylines in “Studio 60″ was about this. And the results of it are baffling, to say the least. Just take last week’s “2 1/2 men”. Chuck Lorre had to censor the Swastika on the show the Nazi chick had on her armband. That was clearly a pun at Bombshell McGee and no matter how much you’d thinkt he US doesn’t have a problem with it – CBS made Lorre paint it over digitally with a smiley with a Hitler mustache in exchange for a fellatio joke later on (I think, look it up on vanity card 301 or something on chucklorre.com). My guess? The show airs here in Germany and you wouldn’t be able to sell it here because of this. And that’s one episode less they can sell. Maybe that wasn’t the reason but that’s the only reasonable thing I can think of. I mean we over here always wonder why it is allowed to show it on TV in in the US and all of a sudden it isn’t, not even in reference to something that recently happened.
As long as sex isn’t shown as something that is enjoyable, it is allowed on TV. That’s why it happens so much on crime shows and is “ok” there, whereas any natural occurence of it is taboo. Watch the above mentioned documentary.
Anyway, the US is relatively prude when it comes to this. We have naked tits on TV all the time. On the other hand we don’t have people spilling their guts, that’s where our oh-so great ratings organization draws the line. Same goes to computer games. Anything with a Swastika has to be censored. All because of that guy from Austria. Ah well. Such is life. As long as there’s HBO I’m cool with regular TV trying to hide sex from children.
If only there were an HBO like network when it comes to news…
*POST AUTHOR*
I’ll never understand why it’s okay to glorify crime, but not show healthy sex. Chuck is right. We are a nation of prudes. When I think of the boobs in European papers all the time…Brett would be so happy. LOL
And political correctness has gone awry – completely lost it’s focus. Except on South Park, where it is flourishing.
Censorship in general stifles conversation and keeps people from learning. In my humble opinion, of course. OK, maybe not as humble as it could be.
Think of our puritanical views on sex during the “Golden Age” of television. Violence has been on TV from the beginning with shows like The Untouchables, The Naked City and other cop shows of the day. The you have the classic sitcoms like I Love Lucy and The Dick Van Dyke Show which had married couples sleeping in separate beds – yet they still managed to have kids! Makes you wonder where they did the deed! LOL And even when Ricky and Lucy finally got to sleep “together” after Little Ricky was born they were still in two single beds pushed together with the covers tucked tightly down the middle so there could be no contact. When two people finally did appear together in the same bed on TV, the couples were (1) a cartoon, “The Flintstones” and (2) monsters, “The Munsters.” Network censors felt that since these weren’t real people, there would be no hint of sexuality in them sleeping in the same bed. If that’s not screwy, I don’t know what is.
*POST AUTHOR*
Replying where I cannot is not going to stop me. MRS. Pavlica my ass. ASS. That’s MS. to you. And you may not touch my candy. I would leave you to guess my outfit, but you know fully well I will not be partying. The only Booooos I will be saying are from the office.
Did I mention I got Nov. 1st off?
:-P
It’s very simple for me, networks will put on what they think will be profitable. If there’s stuff I find offensive, I turn it off. If too many people (this is still a center right country) turn it off, then profits go away.
I monitor everything my kids watch. I don’t object to violence when there is a point, my boys (when they were younger) saw Band of Brothers and Schindler’s List because I thought it was important historically.
What I patently do not like is when I’m cooking dinner and have the news on, and a horrible, scary, or sexually explicit commercial comes on for a movie/show. It catches me off guard.
To be clear, it’s not me, I want to guard, but my little people.
Violence in a historical context is more acceptable because it’s history. At least you can sit down with your kids and explain to them what is going on and why. But a lot of fictional shows go out of their way to show violent acts and the aftermaths for entertainment and people don’t object to their kids watching it. But the minute there is a hint of normal, human intimacy between consenting adults, people freak out and want the producers of the shows arrested and the networks shut down for daring to air such filth. Meanwhile, elementary school children are taking guns to school for show and tell. Even though he got a lot of flack about it, Steven Spielberg removed all of the guns from the special edition “E.T.” for a reason – he didn’t think kids should be exposed to them! The problem is a lot of parents find it easier to talk to their kids about seeing people shot, stabbed and murdered in various ways – and saying it’s all pretend which causes problems when a kid finds a gun and shoots someone and it isn’t pretend – than they are with explaining sex to them. They don’t want to discuss it and they don’t want schools to discuss it and they don’t want it on TV, so that’s why we have so many uninformed kids out there having babies! Monitoring what your kids watch on TV is commendable, but being “horrified” by something you see on TV and not being able to talk to your kids about it in a rational manner is a problem (not you specifically, but just parents in general).
*POST AUTHOR*
I think it’s great that you monitor what your kids watch, and it’s exactly what should be happening. Too many people don’t want to have the choices available at all, because it’s easy to leave their kids in front of the tube. I commend your efforts to raise your children as you see fit.
Not to mention you made a good point against commercials. ;-)
Monitoring is one thing, but if there’s no follow-up as to why you say to a kid they can’t watch something does more damage than good. A lot of parents will just say, “Because I said so,” when a kid asks why they can’t watch something on TV. That’s a problem.
As far as Glee goes, I had more of a problem with the Glee Britney Orgy than the photo shoot. That whole episode sent the wrong message to me, mostly because Britney Spears is not someone teenagers should be emulating, but the whole episode was about the glory of Spears.
Even last season, when I was very pro-Glee, I was shocked to find out one of my pre-teen cousin watch the show. I told her very Christian mom that it wasn’t a good idea.