“Did you hear that the Governor’s mansion in Alabama burned down? It pretty much took out the whole trailer park.”
“Why doesn’t a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head.”
“What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Dough nuts.”
“Don’t you just hate doing HOMEWORK? [Yeah!] Me too. Man I hate HOMEWORK. Honestly. I hate having to do HOMEWORK more than I hate having to do BRYANT GUMBEL in his asshole. Awkward! Awkward! Awkward!”
“Don’t you hate how MEXICANS always complain about TURTLES in their VAGINAS?”
“You sir. Where are you from? [Long Island!] Does everyone in LONG ISLAND have hair that looks like PUSSY you DIPSHIT?”
“What is up with SANDRA BULLOCK? I wouldn’t eat her DICK with STEVIE WONDER’s VAGINA.”
I wouldn’t let Adam Sandler suck my saggy tits for one million dollars of Oprahs tampons.