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The X Factor – Don’t judge me!

'The X Factor' is still in the auditioning process, and I'm already looking forward to the next step. Maybe I have a short attention span. I'm sorry, what did you say??

- Season 1, Episode 3 - "Auditions #3"

Since the audition process is continuing on The X Factor, there’s nothing really to say about it until we move into the next phase of boot camp. Well, I thought I’d talk about the judges with you. Which is your favorite? Who could you do without? Who would you like to get hit by a train? Is there a judge you would happily have dinner with? Or one you’d invite to dinner; to which you’d make a poison stew just to watch them writhe on the floor?

Wait. Was that mean? Did I say some stuff out loud to cause you consternation? I’m sorry. (But not really.)

Ya see, I was watching the judges very closely in tonight’s episode. There was hardly anything else to do. Yeah. There were some standouts and all, but I was finding the judges’ interaction much more interesting. Here’s what I’m screamin’ …

L.A. Reid: Dude is very likable. He peppers his negative comments with something (sometimes anything) of a positive nature. To a guy who couldn’t sing worth a lick of my cat’s tail, but had some showmanship and a big dream?

“I think you might be famous someday.” And on and on. He breaks it to them gently.

Nicole Scherzinger: I admit. At my house, her stew would be poisoned. What a waste of a few million dollars of X Factor cash! She’s ditzy and has more air in her head than I currently have in the tires of my PT Cruiser. (Shameless plug for husband who sells Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep.) Also? She’s an attention whore. Example: Simon called her out tonight on a 20 -year-old contestant that was sexy, but had no style or voice. He said, that at that same age, he could see Nicole giving the same kind of audition. She got defensive in a big way, and had to point out that at twenty, she was trying out with the song (ugh) “I Will Always Love You.”

Then? She had to belt out several bars to prove herself. Geez.

Paul(er) Abdul: Oh, Pauler. I’ve missed you so. I adore how you twirl around, and are so admittedly confused, and identify with contestants who see spaceships or dress like Prince on crack. The montage on tonight’s show about her, just said it all. Simon was genius to bring her back to realiTV. (Hey! Did I just coin a new phrase? I want residuals, if I did.)

And …

My lovely Simon Cowell: He’s making me nervous by calling out so many “stars” and “people like you who I’ve been waiting for.” Yep. He’s trying to keep us sticking around for more. He is the producer, after all. I ain’t dumb.

However. I have to say … I can’t see what Simon and L.A. do sometimes.

That big ado with Tiah, the final contestant? I just didn’t get why Simon and L.A. were so high on her. I was way more in the girls’ corner on that one. They were right. She could not maintain a key! Pauler had a good point, that if you chose to audition a capella, you best hit every note. But Nicole bowed under the pressure, and afterwards Pauler said, “We all see that she’s a star.”

Then Simon voiced what we were all thinking: “But you said ‘No!'”

So Pauler upended his drink. Classic!

Don’t you just lurve the Simon and Pauler banter? Me too! I’m ready to move along to the next phase, though. Boot camp? Here we come!

 

 

Photo Credit: Fox

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