Man Up! – Modern day trio seek masculine meaning

Hokay, class: Ready for a little pop quiz? Good, here we go. Answer honestly. The correct responses are in parenthesis:

1. Is it “manly” to use non-dairy hazelnut creamer in your coffee? (No.)
2. Is the ability to make fantastic lemon bars “manly?” (Nope.)
3. Playing video games from different locations all “miked up” with your buddies — that “manly?” (Nuh-uh.)
4. Is the idolization of Tobey Maguire “manly?” (HELL! NO!)

The following aren’t manly either: Making inane excuses about whether or not to get in a brawl to protect your buddy who’s about to get pounded by a rival group … pining over someone you’ve lost, realizing she’s about to get married (it was over long, long ago, Craig; stop being a wuss) … a tall, kitchen-able braggart with pecs of steel and looks to make women swoon. (So I’ve heard. I don’t have any point of reference in this department.)

Cripes! The guys in this new ABC series definitely need to Man Up!

First off, I reject the tag line for this comedy completely: “Three modern men try to get in touch with their inner tough guys and redefine what it means to be a “real man” …” Why? Because 1) they’re too damned modern, 2) there’s no “inner tough guy” in any of them, and 3) there’s definitely not a lick of “redefinition” forthcoming anytime soon. (That would be like trying to reinvent the wheel … without any clue what a wheel is to begin with.)

You see, all three of the protagonists in this vehicle — Will, Craig and Kenny (Mather Zickel, Christopher Moynihan and Dan Fogler, respectively) — are clueless. Unknowing. Unaware. And they certainly don’t seem motivated to figure out what real manhood is or means.

But don’t pity them for their lack of manliness. It might be that all three of them simply need to “grow a pair” … or three. Fortunately for the viewing audience, keeping tabs on them as they embroil themselves in foibles and mishaps (such as that of the pilot episode) could make for a fun ride.

Will, who’s married to Theresa (Teri Polo, Meet The Fockers), is a bit bumbling and more the typical male with stereotypical male tendencies on this show. His buddies, Craig and Kenny, however, are a mess. Kenny is a rather wimpy wort of a Morrissey-coiffed tool who has little self-confidence. Kenny is the divorced (it amazes me this guy was married in the first place) comic relief. Still, Kenny is my favorite of the three. His angsty, twitchy mannerisms and faux machismo yield to outbursts of bellowing, which caused me to guffaw throughout the half hour. To make matters even more snappy, enter the unlikely beau of Kenny’s ex-wife Brenda (Amanda Detmer) in the form of a hunky, visually perfect Adonis by the name of *cough, cough* Grant Sweet (Henry Simmons). *Voila!* We’re all set for monkey business.

I’m tuning in for a while to see where this leads.

Notes:

• Kenny continually singing “Brown-Eyed Girl” in the backseat while he and his buddies flee the maddened groom’s party has nothing to do with manliness. It was just damned funny …
• … as was the pink pogo stick he came out of the garage with for “the fight.” (Side Note: It doesn’t matter if it’s pink or not — it’s a weapon that can inflict damage. It works. Manliness be damned.)
• Inevitably, there will be a shining light in the form of Craig coming to grips with his wimpiness. Mark my words.
• Am I the only one not sucked in by video games? I’ve been known to be the odd man out.
• I need a crab cakes shirt ala Kenny. Amazon surely has one for purchase. (And yes. A crabs cake shirt is manly. Deal with it.)
• The birthday party attendees all crowded at the living room picture window awaiting the fight on the lawn was great. As was Brenda gulping wine while in anticipation of “the festivities”.
• Yes … guys have things like “The Old Mohoska” penknife Will passed along to his son. It’s neither manly or otherwise. It’s just tradition.
• As noted above, Hazelnut coffee creamer is not manly. There’s nothing wrong with French Vanilla, however. (Additional Side Note: Going to Starbucks / being seen in a Starbucks is not manly.)
• Kenny’s inadequacies on the basketball court against Grant? Manly. Kenny’s excuses why he wasn’t able to overcome his obviously superior opponent? Manly. Kenny’s use of derogatory rhetoric and name calling and more? Damn straight those were manly. It’s what men do. It’s the equivalent of women being catty.

Quotations:

“How bout a couple hookers? Or a trash bag full of chicken wings?” — Kenny in response to Will’s question about what is appropriate for his son’s 13th birthday

“Who gives a shaving kit to a kid he’s never met?!?” — Will
“A touchy, feely jackass, that’s who.” — Kenny

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Oct 19, 2011 @ 10:22 EST5EDT