“Right now your wife is being shot so full of subliminal messages, all she’ll be thinking about afterwards is blowjob.” – Guy at musical
“Get tickets, Stotch, it’s worth it.” – Randy
“What was the show about?” – Stotch
“Oh shit I dunno. Some green chick and a goat or something.” – Randy
“… Because being vegan is more important than being popular.” – Mr. Vegan
“Maybe you should let your son decide that for himself.” – Shelley
“He does decide that for himself! Larry’s been a vegan since he was born!” – Mr. Vegan
“Man Time
I need some Man Time
I got the horses fed and the truck locked up
Been workin’ my fingers to the bone
Now I need a little bit o’ Man Time
Gonna see me a Broadway show
Anything goes! (Blowjob) Anything goes! (Blowjob)
Man Time (Hear things more clearly [Day Blowjob day])
I’m about to get drunk and loud
Gonna have me a rowdy good time
All I need is my girl and my truck
And some Rodgers and Hammerstein
(Sing my angel of [blowjob] music!)
(But the tigers come at night! [on your face])
Man Time
Man Time”
“Oh, what a glorious Sunday. I know what I’d like to do with my time.
Would you like a blowjob?
Yes I would like a blowjob
Nothing beats a blowjob
On football Sunday
Excuse me. I’m the queen of blowjobs
Really? I would love a blowjob
A woman should give blowjobs
On football Sunday
I want to be
Covered in semen
On a bed in the Hotel Jerome
A woman is prettiest
Covered in semen
Give your husband a blowjob
When you get home!
And what about you, my fair lady? Could I trouble you for a quick Lewinski?
Oh, I don’t know, kind sir. Blowjobs seem a little degrading to me.
Come now. A blowjob isn’t with your mouth, it’s with your heart.
Now get on your knees and put your heart to work!
Blowjobs, give us more blowjobs
Your duty is blowjobs
To love giving blowjobs
‘Cuz what could be better
On a football Sunday
What could be better
On a football Sunday …”
“How ’bout a hummer at halftime
A Super Bowl suck-off from me
A Super Bowl suck-off at halftime
From my lovely blowjob queen
Two people in love it’s amazing
Tim Tebow please don’t let us down
How ’bout a hummer at half time …”
“Bro, what’s metaphorical about a musical called ‘Splooge Drenched Blowjob Queen?!'” – Steven Schwartz
“Would you mind? I’m trying to enjoy this musical with my granddaughter!” – Man at ‘Wicked’ musical
“Aw, you fucking pervert!” – Randy
I saw that ending coming… but I still laughed.