South Park – Taking a Sir John Harrington on the TSA

“Women are just jealous because they have to face backwards to pee and crap.” – Cartman
“Yeah hahaha! Wait a minute … you’re supposed to poop into a toilet facing out? But I thought you sit on a toilet this way (faces backwards in seat) so you have that nice little shelf for your comic book and your chocolate milk? Because then you have the flusher right here. No? Well jeeze that’s embarrassing.” – Butters

“If I had sat down, I could’ve gotten toilet water all over my vagina!” – Clyde’s mother
“My grandmother’s from Virginia!” – Butters

“… What a tragedy she had to leave us so soon. But I’m sure Betsy is hoping her death will help women everywhere just take that extra second to look before they sit on a toilet.” – Man at funeral

“Dude you can’t make me wear a seat belt to take a dump!” – Cartman
“This is for your safety! A woman died y’know.” – Toilet Safety Administration guy
“Yeah but the blood is on Clyde’s wiener, not mine!” – Cartman

“Oh, he’s dead? So then we can’t sue him?” – Stan
“Why not? YOu can always sue somebody. It’s just going to take some special protocol. We would have to perform … a sue-ance.” – Lawyer

“Asshole.” – Randy
“You say something?!” – Police officer
“No! I was talking to my … asshole. C-come on asshole, let’s get to work.” – Randy

“Do you mind if I touch your balls, sir?” – Female TSA agent
“What?!  Yes I mind! Do you mind if I touch your fucking balls?” – Cartman

“You can’t make men sit down to pee. How would we play sink the boat?” – Mr. Butters
“How will Nelson and I make an ‘X’ on sleepover nights?” – Randy
“What about us loggers? Hard workin’ men who like to stand up after they’ve taken a poo and then turn around and cut their poo in half with their urine?” – Logger
” … Well, sorry, but if we don’t want the government treating us like children, we might have to give up being able to pee our feces in half!” – Cartman

“You’re all using my toilet invention the wrong way! When you have to sit and take a Sir Harrington, you’re supposed to be facing this way, so you can use the little shelf for your books and your quill and your ink.” – Ghost of John Harrington
“A hah! I told you you sit on in that way! I told you!” – Butters
“Yeah but … but if you sit on it that way, you gotta take your pants all the way off.” – Randy
“Of course! Why do you think I designed toilet rooms with a laundry hole?!” – Ghost
“Oh that’s what that hole is for? Oooohhh… Oops.” – Randy

Clacked by Keith McDuffee
on Mar 14, 2012 @ 22:49 EST5EDT