90210 – Wide Awake and Dreaming

by Kona Gallagher

(Season 1, Episode 5) What I like about this episode is that it addresses some of the issues that were first introduced in the pilot. For instance, we’re not even two minutes in to the episode when Annie declares that she isn’t hungry… ever (okay, so she doesn’t say that last part). But seriously. Just look at her legs; or Silver’s for that matter. Point is, those twigs are distracting.

Also distracting? Adrianna’s seriously glassy eyes. TV has gotten really fancy with the special effects and the CG and whatnot, but this is the only show I watch and go, “how do they do that?!” It must be magic. Anyway, the pill problem touched on in the pilot is back in full force, and this time someone actually notices, which took long enough. I like how they’re trying to make us believe that people living in L.A. are utterly unable to recognize a pill head when they see one, but I’ll play along.

So Adrianna’s pill-popping ways lead to the most predictable storyline ever, when she gets kicked out of the play for being high and Annie is forced to take her place and make out with Ty on stage. We finally get to see the much-anticipated West Beverly High production of Spring Awakening, which has its positives and negatives. On one hand, this means that we won’t be forced to watch another umpteen rehearsals featuring the first five lines of that damn song. On the other hand, Annie’s singing is in full force and we get to see her horrifying grunty gyrations and I may not be able to sleep… ever again.

Wait, did I say that Annie’s “hapless chorus member plucked from anonymity and placed center stage” storyline was the most predictable storyline ever? Oops. I must have forgotten about the “Annie almost betrays her Kansas values and loses her virginity to the wrong guy” storyline. So, yeah. She and Ty make out backstage one time and next thing you know, the Spring Awakening after party is the new prom, leading Ty to get a room at the Roosevelt for he and Annie. (Un)fortunately, Adrianna’s pissed about Annie stealing her part, so she totally hones in on Ty and lies her way into his room, thus ruining Annie’s night of magic with ol’ elf ears.

Other things of note:

–Condoms. What the hell, people? Good on Annie for not relying on Ty to have one, but come on? Is your brother really the only way you can get one? That just seems like a whole lotta awkward for no good reason. Also, shouldn’t they both know that a) you should never store a condom in a wallet, and b) 4 years? That’s not good, either. They have sex ed in Kansas, don’t they?

–There’s something about Naomi that makes me really uncomfortable. I can’t really put my finger on it, but it definitely involves her poodle hair. I do, however know what makes me uncomfortable about her mother, and that would be her crazy, crazy eyes. I’m glad that Naomi’s parents are getting divorced; because this storyline bores the crap out of me.

–I’m undecided on Dixon and Silver. I think I’m for it, despite the fact that Silver’s gross misuse of a women’s shelter from a few weeks ago still bugs (also her twiggy legs!)