The Celebrity Apprentice – No Deal!

Phew. Four hours of The Celebrity Apprentice in two days, and I am wiped out. Look, all you anxious Trump-ophiles, you may be sprinters, but I’m more of a marathon man. I pace it slowly, with the objective of seeing my challenge through to the end. Though I certainly did appreciate all of your kind words as you patiently awaited my piece. To you, sir, I don’t tolerate that type of language. And, madam, I believe that your suggestion is anatomically impossible. But thank you for the thought!

So, this weekend we were treated to double the Donald. Saturday night, NBC aired an extended edition of last week’s challenge, with Sunday night premiering week four of the show. Normally, there wouldn’t be much to say about “never before seen clips,” but, as with all things Trump, Saturday night’s airing was anything but ordinary. Instead of the expected additional color, we saw that half of last week’s episode was edited so as to provide us with no context! I mean, some stuff was just gravy, but others put the wedding competition in a whole new light:

• As I’ve mentioned before, this season was clearly taped before the heart of the economic collapse. The outtakes make at least passing mention of the difficulty of these tasks due to current times, so at least the series is not taking place in a bubble.
• Trump is way out of line, particularly with Brande Roderick. When she was announced as project manager, he called her over to him, commented on how she still had it, and then sent her back to her team. How many times do you figure he’s been sued for sexual harassment?
• Funny quote: Trump calls the women’s team “tough killers.” Does even he believe that crap?
• Funnier quote: Khloe Kardashian repeatedly said that her team needed to “use our celebrity.” Someone please tell me who she is!?
• Best “Aha” moment: Claudia Jordan, in a talking head, realized that her friends aren’t as rich or famous as she once thought. Well, duh!
• Best management style: Tom Green believes in observing his team, not criticizing them or telling them how to do their task.
• Most surprising moment: Brande hadn’t realized that girls would actually be coming in to their wedding dress store to buy wedding dresses. Huh?
• Herschel Walker shook a finger at Dennis Rodman for his escapades on the street on day one of the task. Deleted scenes show that Dennis realized that their storefront was in a low foot-traffic area, and suggested he go out and use his celebrity to drum up business for the next day. Maybe he did, and maybe he didn’t, but after getting a more complete perspective, listening to Herschel in the boardroom as he wondered what Dennis was trying to do, only makes Walker look bad.
• The men made a big deal out of Tom possibly still being drunk the morning of the task, but all we saw last Sunday night was a hung-over man. The extended episode gave us five minutes of Green in a van as he was being driven to the storefront. Definitely still drunk!
• The Kardashians are so glitterati that Khloe’s sister came down to the store as a representative of Girls Gone Wild‘s Joe Francis. Awesome.

One thought I was left with, that segues nicely into our discussion about this week’s task: What happens on the men’s team now, after everyone suggested that Dennis was actually hung-over and ducking them on the day of the task, instead of sick, as he claimed? Dennis is not known for suffering anything, particularly being hassled.

Which brings us to the beginning of Sunday night’s episode. This week, the teams were challenged with creating a presentation for a group of sales reps. The product? The reps own company’s videophone. Now, I may be naive, but how is there even a market for videophones, with webcams and Cisco networking systems abounding?

Anyway, the men and the women were flipping a coin to see who would present first. Dennis was sitting by himself. And then, for some reason, as Clint Black called tails, Dennis lost it, cursing Clint out, and getting in his face. Now, the incident would have seemed even stranger, if I hadn’t seen the extended version from the previous week. Apparently, Dennis managed to drag Clint out to a bar, and they appeared to have fun in one another’s company. But, in the boardroom, Clint pointed his finger at Dennis, as well he should have.

It looked to me as if Dennis was actually offended by Clint’s “betrayal.” Strange for a man not known for his emotions, but possible nonetheless. I think, that while Tom Green aesthetically appears more Dennis’ style, in reality, Clint speaks to who Dennis is inside. I know, a little too much sentiment for The Worm, but I don’t know him, so I’m not judging. Plus, he frightens me.

As always, the show had its ups and downs:

• Don Don was back!
• Claudia lists one of her qualifications for being project manager as her experience in managing people … What, is she in charge of the other briefcase girls in her row on Deal or no Deal? And later Trump called her a “great performer.” Okay, someone help me out here, because maybe I’m just totally missing something. Fill in the blank: “Claudia Jordan is famous because she is ______.” Thanks!
• For the second week in a row, Joan Rivers was MIA for part of the task. Why did she not commit her time to this like everyone else? And how is she the one in this group who’s so busy?
• Brian McKnight went from silent background guy to bitter bear. Boo!
• Trump entered the ballroom where the teams were presenting to trumpets! Seriously. It reminded me of the scene in The American President, when Lucy, President Shepherd’s daughter, plays him out of her bedroom with a pathetic rendition of “Hail to the Chief.”
• Joan called Claudia a “musher” numerous times. Definition please?
• Khloe almost broke down in the boardroom. I know it’s mean, but I was rooting for tears!

So, a concert by Brian McKnight beat Joan Rivers giving us a mental image of her getting a gynecological exam via videophone. Not surprising. The men finally claimed victory, and the women tossed Claudia overboard. If they can lose Melissa Rivers too, they’ll be down to their fighting weight, and this show could get interesting.

In other news, I am fully prepared to take back some of my earlier questions regarding Jesse James (like having no idea who he was), and to reinforce my later statement about him being a dark horse. I’m predicting Clint and Jesse in the finale, and I have a feeling that, at that point, Jesse will pull out his ace-in-the-hole, his wife Sandra Bullock, and her Hollywood friends … If I was the men’s team, I’d be pissed that he hadn’t done so beforehand. But that’s all speculation.

And, you know those ads that NBC runs after all of their shows now, like, “Wanna see more/hear more/do more”? There’s a new one featuring the Trump three, touting a “weekly lessons learned from The Apprentice” section on nbc.com. Does it get any better than that?

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Mar 24, 2009 @ 18:00 EST5EDT