Aahhhh! It’s season finale time, so we’re coming to the end of a lot of our quotes for a while. Luckily, 30 Rock alone provided some classic ones for this week. That’s not to say other shows didn’t bring the goodness though. We’ve got House, HIMYM, and more. As always, feel free to post your favorite quotes of the week in the comments.
House
“Isn’t that like locking the barn door after the horse has put his face between your breasts for an hour and a half?” – House
“It’s always a sad thing when sperm comes between people.” – Thirteen
“I’m sorry but I’m about to lose you because I’m about to drive into a tunnel in a canyon in an airplane while hanging up the phone.” – House
How I Met Your Mother
“When will you guys realize that the only difference between my real life and a porno is that my real life has better lighting?” – Barney
Castle
“At the very least she should be arrested for violating the laws of nature.” — Esposito, regarding the over face-lifted suspect.
The Mentalist
“We do need better brand awareness.” – Cho, to a suspect, when he didn’t know what CBI was.
Fringe
“The procedure doesn’t fall under any HMOs.” – Agent Broyles to Olivia while the Massive Dynamic team worked on Nina Sharp’s robotic arm
“I have said too much. I’m not supposed to get involved. I’ve taken you as far as I can.” – The Observer
“We’re trying to plug a hole in the universe. What are you doing here?” – Walter
“I’m stepping out for a bit. Don’t worry about me, son. I know where I’m going.” – Walter, in a note.
30 Rock
“I’ve changed Ken, into a bad-ass adult. I have a wolf dog, I have two bad knees, and a gun … that I lost.” – Tracy
“My Mary J. Blige Foundation is celebrating it’s tenth year of searching for the Loch Ness Monster.” – Mary J. Blige
“Mickey Rourke wants to take me camping!” – Jenna
Audience member: “My boyfriend has been acting really weird ever since he got promoted at his job.”
Liz: “Yeah, he thinks he deserves a vajayjay upgrade; he doesn’t. He’s not Tom Brady. Shut it down. Deal breaker.”
Actually, that entire scene where Liz was giving advice on the talk show was so amazing (“you have sexually-transmitted crazy mouth!”) that in a Quotation Marks first, I’m going to just go ahead and post the entire clip below. Enjoy!
Clacked by Kona Gallagher 
on May 18, 2009 @ 13:00 EST5EDT
Was it this week when on Castle he said something like “Santa isn’t real either but we still love to unwrap the presents” when talking about men and breasts?
Could’ve been an earlier episode. I still love the quote :-)