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ABC Thursday night lineup – Clacking the dream

TV shows may come and go, but we can always imagine what an ideal night's lineup might look like. Let's take a look at the dream Thursday night on ABC.

There’s a bit of a surprise in store for you here. At least I found myself pleasantly surprised by some of the strong shows that have aired over the years on ABC Thursdays. Be prepared to think, but if you can steel yourself for it, this lineup is shaping up to be a doozy.

8:00-9:00 I know I’m blaspheming, but I’ve never understood why Mork and Mindy is held up as a classic … anybody? Who’s the Boss?, on the other hand, I did enjoy a lot; that’s why it’s tucked away safely on my Tuesdays. Best of the West was lying, Star of the Family sounds like the life-and-times of any teenage star, The Charmings was like a serialized Enchanted, and Room for Two gave Patricia Heaton a name, so there’s that. Joanie Loves Chachi was the epitome of bad spin-offs, Trauma Center aired in the wrong decade, The Fall Guy coupled stunt work with bounty hunting, and Sledge Hammer! was one in a long line of bumbling detectives. Knightwatch cast Benjamin Bratt as a teen vigilante, Mission: Impossible was a lesser remake with Peter Graves, Father Dowling Mysteries was about a priest fighting crime (interesting, right?), and Missing Persons sounds a lot like Without a Trace. My So-Called Life didn’t speak to my age or gender, Charlie Grace was another attempt by Mark Harmon to make it on TV, High Incident was an uninspiring cop show, and Vengeance Unlimited was assisted vigilantism. Threat Matrix tried to take advantage of the public’s post-9/11 fears, Jake in Progress was not the comeback that John Stamos should have opted for, I never connected with fan favorites Alias, Ugly Betty, or Samantha Who?, and I don’t think anyone clicked with poor-attempts-for-comedy Miss Guided and In the Motherhood. And as for reality/game shows Whose Line Is It, Anyway?, Extreme Makeover (how did this eventually become about interior decorating?), and Dancing with the Stars? Don’t see the attraction. I was actually really enjoying FlashForward up until it took its Winter hiatus. I think it’s sucked ever since, but I love the concept, and I think it can and will do better. And I’m really curious to know where it goes after this season. I’m taking a chance on the newbie.

9:00-10:00 Barney Miller was good in its day, but for a hip Generation “Y”er? Taxi too … a great comedy, but it’s some other generation’s workplace sitcom. I’ve spent a lot of years romanticizing Too Close for Comfort, but I’m not sure how it would hold up today. It Takes Two kept Helen Hunt and Anthony Edwards in tuna for a year, It’s Not Easy was about a dysfunctional amicable divorce, 9 to 5 picked up where the movie left off, and Glitter was the original Ugly Betty. The Colbys was no more interesting for me than its parent Dynasty, The Young Riders was a brief look at the Pony Express with Stephen Baldwin and Josh Brolin, and Matlock was a lawyer for a different generation. Murder One passed me by, Cracker was from a time when procedurals were merely vehicles for eccentric personalities, and Push, Nevada was audience participation taken to the extreme. If I can’t read Stephen King novels I definitely couldn’t have watched Kingdom Hospital or Night Stalker, Life As We Know It sounds too blase to have stuck, Who Wants to be a Millionaire never brainwashed me, and Crumbs was Fred Savage left out in the sun too long. And I enjoy Grey’s Anatomy, but it’s not quality TV. Although it would seem to be on the wrong night, take for granted that I know what I’m doing when I slot Lost here; you’ll see what I have in mind soon.

10:00-11:00 A whole lot of 20/20 and Primetime aired here over the years. Is that the network giving up, or was there a real audience for the shows? There were a fair number of cult favorites here, but none of them ever did anything for me. Men in Trees was a waste of Anne Heche, October Road never went anywhere interesting, Big Shots was embarrassing for Joshua Malina, and Life on Mars did not ensnare me in its web of pleasure. Sorry. Eli Stone is safe on my Tuesdays, and I dropped Private Practice last season, thank God. I’m going to go with yet another mystery show here, but one that ended before we found out what was going on — I really enjoyed Six Degrees, and I think the ensemble cast was really strong. Plus, the promise of a Michael K. Williams scene at every turn? Oh yeah.

Anyone get the theme? Serialized head-scratchers! Whereas NBC opted for comedy on Thursdays (which I love), ABC thought we were intelligent enough to handle serious fare even at the end of a long work week. That’s great!. How about you? What does your dream Thursday night on ABC look like?

Photo Credit: ABC

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4 Responses to “ABC Thursday night lineup – Clacking the dream”

April 15, 2010 at 8:21 AM

The Fall Guy, Barney Miller, Taxi, and Matlock were all old favorites, and I enjoyed Life on Mars (US) immensely, but Sledge Hammer! takes the night. It was not actually about a bumbling detective, but a reductio ad absurdum comedic treatment of the Dirty Harry avenging cop archetype from a liberal perspective. The title character was not stupid or clumsy, merely deranged and quite good at shooting people. I thought it was quite well-written in its day.

April 15, 2010 at 1:09 PM

“…a reductio ad absurdum comedic treatment of the Dirty Harry avenging cop archetype from a liberal perspective” Wow.

You’re a blast from the past though. Good to have you back!

April 17, 2010 at 11:04 AM

Thanks. A little overseas trip, a little respiratory infection, and suddenly you’re three weeks behind on television shows and four weeks behind on websites and podcasts. I ran out of DVR and PC hard drive space. Of course, the hours I spent catching up on reading this site this week put me behind again, and the cycle repeats itself.

April 18, 2010 at 3:44 PM

I hear you. Good to have you back. :)

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