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Parks and Recreation – Soulmates and zerts

Tom's car is his "go-go machine." This is only one of the amazing things we learn on this week's episode of 'Parks and Recreation.' Another one is that two bucks a piece for dead crows is a good deal.

- Season 3, Episode 10 - "Soulmates"

I’ve discovered that I’m halfway between Chris and Ron Swanson. I love health food stores and do genuinely get excited when I walk into one. However, I died when Ron and April kept on throwing the vegan bacon in the trash because, as much as I personally enjoy fake bacon, I have to give the point to them. It really shouldn’t exist.

I was as confused as Leslie was when Ben turned her down for dinner, although he did do it in an hilarious fashion. Although it wasn’t inconceivable that Ben really is just that bad at dating (dude’s bad at a lot of stuff). So it was nice to find out when she did that it was Chris’s “bugaboo” about inter-office relationships that made him act so bizarrely around her.

It brings up an interesting question though: how are they going to get around Chris’s rule? It can’t all be discount hamburgers in front of the second-floor wildflower mural. They’re obviously going to get together at some point, so how is it going to happen? Leslie can’t leave her job, right? So Ben has to leave his. But where will he go? As long as Adam Scott stays on the show and doesn’t disappear to San Francisco or wherever Dave went, I’m fine with whatever happens.

As cute as this all was, Aziz Ansari was the star of this episode. As soon as he realized what Leslie was doing while they were at the restaurant, I didn’t stop laughing. Between his soulful looks into her eyes, calling her “boo,” and picking out their dream house, it was the greatest fake relationship ever.

His dating song was amazing, as was his unrelenting description of his and Leslie’s kiss to Ben: “It was… stirring.” But the absolute greatest part was Tom running down his list of what he calls everything. A list I have helpfully transcribed for you below:

“Zerts” are what I call desserts. “Tre-tres” are entrees. I call sandwiches “sammys,” “sandoozles,” or “Adam Sandlers.”e Air conditioners are cool blasterz with a “z” (I don’t know where that came from). I call cakes, “big ol’ cookies.” I call noodles “long-ass rice.” Fried chicken is “fry-fry chicky-chick.” Chicken parm is “chicky-chicky parm-parm.” Chicken cacciatore? “Chicky catch.” I call eggs “pre-birds” or “future birds.” Root beer is “super water.” Tortillas are “bean blankies,” and I call forks… “food rakes!”

I’ve got to say that “bean blankies” is probably the one I’m going to adopt immediately.

Photo Credit: NBC

4 Responses to “Parks and Recreation – Soulmates and zerts”

April 23, 2011 at 9:58 AM

Tom was good but Ron was once again the star of the episode.

April 24, 2011 at 12:02 AM

A great episode, but I love the irony that after taking the job to be with Leslie, Ben can’t date Leslie.

But considering how small the dating population probably is (not that Ann’s having any problems); considering Chris dated Ann who once worked on a Parks & Rec committee and April and Andy two city employees, who occasionally worked in the same department, are married, eventually these crisscrossing relationships will tear down Chris’ logic –

April 24, 2011 at 1:55 AM

Technically, I don’t think Andy is a city employee. (At least I’ve never heard of a city that actually employees shoeshine guys.) As for the intra-office dating restriction, it acts as a reasonable enough barrier for keeping the two apart for a while.

April 26, 2011 at 3:25 PM

Does anyone know the song that was playing at the end of this episode, when everyone was in the courtyard after the burger-off? I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find it!

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