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Open Letters: My Letter to Heroes

NBC

NBCDear Heroes,

We’ve been seeing each other for some time now – or rather, I’ve been seeing you; it seems like almost three years.  You’ve given me so much: an amazing first season that continually got better episode after episode leading up to an amazing finale mediocre climax.  You’ve given me awesome characters (Noah Bennet), complicated families (who’s NOT a Petrelli these days?), ambiguously gay couples (Mohinder and Matt, Ando and Hiro, etc, etc), and super awesome villains (Sylar).  But what can I say, Heroes?  I’m selfish … and it’s time for you to give me more!

I dealt with your second season, even defended it.  I saw the bright spots (Monica was pretty cool when she wasn’t being an idiot and getting captured by thugs) through the darkness (Maya and her annoying brother; Hiro goes to feudal Japan!; even more personalities for Nikki; whole episodes without our favorite characters; Peter goes to Ireland!; Claire gets a stalker boyfriend; etc, etc).  But that’s in the past.  I forgive you.  It’s not your fault.  I blame the strike.  Let’s just work together to put it behind us and move on.

So now is our chance to take this to the next level, Heroes.  I want to love you, I really do, but frankly, you’re making it hard.  I know a lot of people have been raving about the two hour premiere of your third season, but I’m not one of them.  I’ve been able to look past your shortcomings before, but am I really just supposed to sit back and take this?  Mohinder with super powers?  Really?  Another personality for Nikki?  Nathan turning to religion and seeing visions of Linderman?  Matt goes to Africa?!?  Seriously!?!  What the fuck Heroes?  Get your act together!

I’m sorry, Baby.  I didn’t mean it.  I’m sorry.  Listen — this is what I’m going to do for you.  I’m going to give you some advice:

First, pay attention to details.  It shouldn’t be that hard.  I know you have a staff of professional writers.  You’re better than this.  We’ve seen what Sylar is capable of.  Are we really supposed to believe that a chain on the door knob of a slatted door is going to stop him?  He certainly seemed confused standing outside the door.  Noah leaving a box with super important papers on the counter?  Yeah, that’s totally his style.  Hiro opening the safe that his dead father left him explicit instructions not to open just because he’s bored?

Secondly, give the time traveling a rest.  I get that it’s Hiro’s power, but maybe we can just focus on the freezing and transportation for a while?  It was cool in season one.  It was slightly annoying in season two.  Now it’s just stale.  Give it a rest.

Thirdly, it’s okay to leave people dead.  Are we going to end every season with Nathan presumably deceased only to pop up happy and healthy in episode one the next?  I know, you’ve left some characters dead in the past, but I encourage you to kill more.  Death is good.  Obviously, you want to introduce loads (and loads and loads and loads) of new characters.  This would be fine … You just have to make room for them first.

I’m going to stick with you a little longer, Heroes. I see so much potential in you.  Now go find it!  Be your best!

Love,

Bob

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