It’s bad enough that my children are exposed to beer commercials if they happen to watch anything during prime time. Victoria’s Secret ads are mildly amusing with three teenage/pre-teen boys in the room. Everybody wants an iPod: we get it. But the commercials that are driving me the craziest this season are the ones for 5-hour Energy drink. I watched CSI re-runs on SPIKE television today while folding laundry and getting ready for a ten-day trip out of town. All day, I was subjected to those ads.
The worst is the one with race car driver Steven Wallace, son of race car legend Rusty Wallace. The commercial shows Steven dressed in his racing jumpsuit, and he is talking, in his good-ol’-boy, Sarah-Palin, regular-Joe-the-plumber accent about him and his buddies going fishing.
Fishing? Why, what could be more harmless than fishing? And they just saw these cunning (my word) little bottles by the cash register so they all bought and took them and low and behold, they were still fishing at 4:00 in the morning! Is this desirable? Did they really want to be sitting there, reflexes at the ready, eyes wide open, fishing at 4:00 in the morning? Or were they really there because the damn energy drink wouldn’t let them go to sleep? (What, did they start at 11 p.m. in the dark? Or does it last for more than 5 hours?)
The energy drink was so darn effective for Steven and his buddies while they were sitting in traffic making split-second fishing decisions that he decided to try it while race driving, and well, he and his dad don’t like crashes (wink wink), so if you don’t want an energy drink crash, you better go get a little bottle.
Why do those ads bother me so much? Well, for one thing, in spite of my mockery, I worry that they might be effective; I am obviously not their target audience. Last summer, my kids developed a strange fascination with the 5-hour Energy drinks. I think I got to them while they were still tittering about it and before they took much of it. My response was a lecture about the dangers of that much caffeine and to throw it in the trash.
I had a chat with the local convenience store staff as well, telling them that even though I knew they had no obligation, if they felt like refusing to sell my kids the energy crap, they could feel free to withhold it. Those commercials are insidious. They use pseudo-celebrities to tout the stuff as perfect for helping them focus during competitive events. Great– thanks a lot! Send the message to kids everywhere that you love the stuff and that you recommend it to all your friends! That’s perfect. This means you have pimply, greasy-haired 15-year old boys across the country salivating while thinking about how many hours of World of Warcraft one of these bottles could fuel…
No, I admit, I haven’t actually tried the 5-hour Energy drinks. But I have over-caffeinated myself, and I know a little something about sweating and shaking and feeling sick. I am also an adult: If I want to make myself sick, I can make that decision. For kids, it’s different. Granted, it’s my job to police my kids and also what they watch — and what they buy. I take that responsibility seriously. But seeing those commercials so glibly touting something that teenage boys find fascinating anyway still pisses me off. If they have to play them, fine: But how about waiting til 11:00 at night?
Clacked by Jen Creer
on Dec 18, 2008 @ 13:00 EST5EDT
The Braylon Edwards one is the worst but it’s a close competition…
You could substitute this with every other commercial for something that is high on sugar.
Drinking this stuff is just wrong for kids, they should get their energy from other sources, and the ads for almost all things that pretend to be healthy are blatant lies. I mean how many products are out there that contain “0% fat” but 55% sugar? How many joghurts are out there that have added vitamin C and a sugar content so high that saying they are healthy should be considered a crime?
More and more of these products are abundant each day.
I am 16 years old, and my mother sees no problem with me and my brothers drinking [Oh God not 5-hour-energy though], drinks that keep us awake, studying, and even gaming… So long as those grades don’t change! haha.
Sure, working late shifts, all-nighters studing for finals, etc… I can see these being used for, but I wouldn’t ever drink 5 Hour-Energy. I hear they’re terrible.
Plus our energy drinks are expensive.
AND WOW YOU wouldn’t believe this if I told you, but as of typing this line a commercial came on for 5 Hour-Energy.
If I could reccomend a drink, It’s called Bawls – it’s flavored with the Amazon berry Guarana, your sons may have heard of it… Do a quick google on ‘guarana’, it has great nutritional and memory benefits. In my past expierence, all of these drinks in general have never given us jitters, shakes, bouncing off walls, other adverse effects, etc… But then again everyone is different.
Just here for a different perspective,
Regards,
Josh.
I drank too much caffeine once and had a mental and nervous breakdown, the dangers of caffeine are always there yet nobody realizes it. Caffeine is just like cocaine, do a google search and you’ll realize it’s true.