The Superstars sucks. I usually avoid making such blanket statements about a show, figuring that lots of people have tastes that are different than mine, but in this case I can’t help it. The pure and simple truth is that this “celebrity” competition show is a mess. I’ve watched the first two episodes because … well, because I am a sheep. I fell for the commercials for the show and I totally wanted to see Terrell Owens getting yelled at by a supermodel model. I have to admit, that part was actually pretty good.
The rest of this show though, it’s just painful.
First off, can we please stop throwing around the term “star” and “celebrity” around so liberally? When I have to look up half the contestants on wikipedia just to find out who the heck they are, they are neither a star, nor a celebrity. Yes, Estella Warren, you were fantastic in Planet of the Apes, but are you a “star?” Not even close, sorry. Just a small pet peeve on my part.
The big problem with The Superstars is that it’s really, really boring. Perhaps if it were a half hour and heavily edited instead of a full hour and a half it would be a little better. Unfortunately, the show is an hour and a half long (for the first few episodes) and shows just about every second of each dull event. In the latest episode I think there was a solid 45 minutes of people long jumping. You know what? Long jumping really isn’t that exciting, even with Robert Horry trash talking the whole time.
The other big problem, and I do feel badly about this, is the horrid commentary provided by host John Saunders. Come on, John Saunders, you are a respected sports journalist. You host The Sports Reporters on ESPN for crying out loud! Is this the best way you can find to spend your summer? His feigned excitement during the overdubbing is just painful to listen to. It’s like he’s trying to inject some life into this dead fish of a show and it just comes off as a little sad.
The fact is, I was hoping this show would fill the void of the dearly departed American Gladiators. Why did NBC cancel this awesome, super campy show? I miss the ridiculous costumes, I miss the way-too-excited audience. I miss the over the top sob stories that each contestant seemed to have. I miss people hitting each other with giant Q-tips. I miss the absolute beat down that the gladiators would put on the competitors. I miss how “Crush” always had that wry smile that said “I can’t believe I am on this stupid show.” I even miss that nutjob Wolf. That dude was just crazy.
Sadly, no matter how insane TO acts, he’s no Wolf.
Clacked by Bob Degon
on Jul 02, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
