Michael: Let’s all admit it: We live in weird world.
A world which buys bottled water. A world which, a lot of the time, offers very little common sense. A world that “… deliberately aims to create subnormal (men) who spend all day in front of the television with their mouths open swallowing all types of information” and which “promotes the ‘psychology of losers.‘” A world where a column is devoted to television commercials, one of the most vilified things on television.
(And, while I jest of course, I’m dead serious about that first item above. I mean … about 71% of the Earth’s surface is covered in water and 3% of that is fresh …)
Here’s the deal: If society is excited about a phone being released that comes in “white,” then we might as well pack it in. I mean … what else is there to look forward to after an announcement like that?
It’s a known fact: I get excited about lots of things. (Regular CommercialClack readers know this well. I’m sure they scratch their heads all the time over what we say.) A phone coming out in white is not one of them.
Tara: I think you should pick and choose things more wisely to get upset about. When you first told me we were covering this commercial, I thought … so what? It’s a throwaway. Why in the world is he so focused on people caring about a phone coming out in a different color?
Michael: Because it’s inane! Attention to the hilt for meddlesomeness! It’s a peeve. I’m truly amazed this commercial got made at all. What’s the big deal? Why the hoopla? Look at the folks: Bunch of goofballs playing air guitar. Faces stuck into their small screens as if the need to get that fake note just right was the difference between life and death. Why? To what end?
Tara: Look. I’ve seen you with your phone. You’re tied to it like it should have an attached umbilical chord.
Michael: That was at Comic-Con. Because it was necessary to keep tabs with our fellow colleagues here and there. And! They blather a lot.
Tara: This commercial just takes people’s love for their phones to an exaggerated level. To. Sell. Them.
Michael: Oh … it takes people’s love for their phones to an exaggerated level all right … it takes it to the level where it’s cutesy to put your phone up to your mouth and projects an image of you talking. Yeah … that’s exaggerated.
Tara: Stop being a jerk and focus. I was just saying today, to someone that is about to embark on the purchase of a new phone from a rather old one — “I can’t wait to welcome you to the world of ‘Where’s my phone? Did I leave my phone somewhere?'”
It’s the way of the brave new world, like it or not. Phone cover colors, unique ring tones or the latest headsets? Phones are the new accessory. And as we both know, the art of the “television commercial” is starting to die out. Because of DVR’s, advertising guys (and gals) need to reach for any straw to get their ideas out there.
This is just a pure and simple stretch for the consumer. No need to get your drawers in a wad. It’s not very original, but it is what it is. (A phrase people use on me all the time, which I despise but fits in this situation.)
Michael: Sometimes? The “brave new world” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Because that brave new world has caused people to become socially inept. That brave new world has forced the thinking that immediacy is the normal way of things today. That brave new world has some so numb they get excited about “white” …
“The HTC Evo 4G LTE in white. With unlimited data.” You want to know where you can get “unlimited data” … ??? By conversing with someone in the world. By socializing with a group of friends or engaging a stranger. No battery power needed there, Bobo. 4G not required in the least.
Tara: I’m taking your phone away for the next couple of days. No texting, no gps to track your little car blip, no “blathering to colleagues.” Then I’m going to watch you pull your hair out and laugh at your hypocrisy. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!
Clacked by Michael Noble 
on Aug 18, 2012 @ 11:22 EST5EDT
As apparently the last living American who does not own a cell phone [Hubby just went over to the dark side], I have to agree with Michael on this one. Color is BY FAR the last feature I care about for tools and utensils like phones and computers. [Yes, I mean utensils, not essentials.]
But if you think this commercial is bad, try watching the screen as the DVR fast forwards through it. “Bad trip, Man.”
You’ve hit upon one of the commercials I simply can not stand for both its inanity and its ubiquity.
I pay to watch an actual movie in an actual theater nearly every weekend, and that one plays in the preshow almost every time. I actually keep my earphones in, and my phone ready to play music to drown out that one and any egregiously loud and/or annoying trailers.
The most insulting facet is that any modern smartphone from any manufacturer can do what they show in that commercial. Plus, you’d never see that many HTC Evo 4G’s in one room in real life, especially the way Samsung and Apple own that market.
I’ve always been more focused on the fact that most of the people featured in this commercial look like they’ve not showered in days.